Don't Quit - Why You Should Stay in the Game

0:00 Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients. When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research program. Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit. However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.

0:40 For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene. Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast. I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure to be talking with you today. Thank you for this opportunity. Now, I am talking today about why you should stay in the game, why you should stay in the game, and I'm betting that there are a couple of people listening to me right now who are really discouraged.

1:23 And I will tell you that this journey is hard and you need support along the way. And that is why I recommend academic negotiation coaching for you, because it helps you negotiate your academic career so that you can build a research program that actually has impact and you can thrive in the career that you're building. And much of that happens in the space of community. And at Academics Negotiate, we have community that helps people thrive and helps people grow, build research programs that are actually worth it. So if you need a community, if you need the support that helps you move forward, you should sign up on our website, ClinicianResearcherpodcast.com slash negotiate.

2:11 And definitely check us out and let's see how we can help you move your career forward. Okay. So why you should stay in the game. Now they tell you you shouldn't say should. But why would you want to stay in the game when it is so, so hard? When I started my career in academic medicine, I really wanted to do research and I just wasn't qualified to do it. I mean, I wasn't qualified by the standard and I didn't have enough publications. I didn't have funding. And so no one could make a case for me or so I was told that I would succeed in research.

2:52 And so, you know, I have this clinical career and I was trying to make research work and there are a lot of late nights and trying to tame the clinic and a lot of grant submissions and grant rejections and a lot of manuscript attempts and difficulty finding time to write. And a lot of trying to make my clinical work happen alongside building a research career and holy cow, it was so hard. But I kept persevering because I could still see the goal was attainable. I could still see it. But I finally got to a point where one day something happened. It was just a huge, you know, issue in my clinical space that caused me to pause and say, wait a minute, why am I here?

3:40 It's like, what? Why am I here? This clinical thing is overwhelming, overbearing. I can't do it. I can't even do the research I actually came here to do. Why am I here? And I just in that moment, I quit. I wouldn't even tell you that I was thinking about quitting. I just quit. You know when you quit in your mind before you quit physically, like the quitting first of all happens in your mind and then you're like, okay, well, let's make the quit happen. Right. That's where I was. I quit. Like I wasn't thinking about quitting. I actually quit. And it's a long story to how I unquit, but I really did quit. And I'm betting that there is someone who's listening to me today who's really on the verge.

4:24 You're like, I can't do this anymore. I can't take this. I could live a better life doing something more fulfilling. I can't do this. And I want to say, if that's you, this episode is especially written for you. And I want to ask you to not quit long enough to finish this episode. And it'll only be like maybe 20, 30 minutes, 40 if we get really, really friendly. Don't quit. Don't quit until you hear me out in this episode. Okay. I'm going to talk in this episode about five reasons to stay in the game.

5:04 Just five. Just five. I like five and seven. Today it's just five. And I want you to hear me out on five reasons why you should stay in the game. The first reason that you should stay in the game is that the work you do matters. The work you do matters. I don't know you. I've probably not met you. I probably don't know the work you do, but I know it matters because I know your phenotype. Actually, maybe it's your genotype I know. You're a physician. What does that mean about you? You bypassed every opportunity to make crazy amounts of money upon graduating from college to take on this weird career that started first with medical school, entered through residency and came out through possibly fellowship to then say, I'm going to now spend more time devoting myself to the care of patients and spend more time than I'm actually paid to make it work.

6:10 And you, you are the person who's chosen to move a research career forward. You are a person who sacrificed a lot to be where you are. For that reason, I know that the only work you would take on is work that matters because you're the kind of person who has a depth of feeling for other people. So much so that you sacrificed your twenties so that you could get good at saving people's lives. You do not do work that doesn't matter. And so the work you do really matters. I know it because I know your genotype as a physician and I know that physicians care.

6:57 And if you've gotten to the point where you feel like your work doesn't matter, where you feel like you don't care, it's not true. You do care. Right now your care, your caring muscle may be hurt, maybe wrapped up in layers and layers of burnout and anger. And for that reason, you're like, I can't feel anything. I'm numb and therefore this work doesn't matter. But it does. You know it. Deep, deep, deep inside your burned out heart, you know this work matters. And I just want to encourage you to go back to your why. Go back to the reason you started this in the first place.

7:38 Go back to why you chose this part of your career to move forward. You could have chosen so many other things. There's so many other specialties you could have chosen. There's so many other patient populations you could have chosen to work with and you chose this one because, because it matters. And I want to invite you to revisit what matters about the work you do. To revisit the thing that made you fall in love in the first place. To revisit the reason why you gave up sanity to do this thing called a clinician research or career. It's because it matters.

8:19 You know it does. And you should revisit why. Number two. No one will move this work forward like you can. Yes, you may be doing work in diabetes and people have been doing work in diabetes for centuries now and will be doing work in diabetes centuries from now. But nobody is coming at it with the same kind of lens that you were coming at it with. Nobody is coming at it with the same perspective that you have. You are uniquely equipped and prepared to move this work forward. Maybe somebody else will catch a clue and move the work forward, but not like you can't.

9:04 There's the special sauce that you bring. And it's a combination of many tangible and intangible things. Some of the easy stuff is that, okay, you came through medical school. You have the training. You did some research. You have expertise in this area. That's the easy stuff. Other people can replicate that. But the intangible stuff, the experience you had with diabetes in your family that makes you say that this is the area that you want to tackle, this is the lens that you bring to it, nobody can replicate that. The reasons why you're in this space moving the work forward like you're moving it forward, you're only going to have a different outcome from the people around you.

9:49 And eventually, the work you do is going to complement the work of other people, but the work you do is uniquely you. You bring your signature to your work. Your work is not generic. It is uniquely tagged with your ID. Your work is uniquely yours. And if you don't move it forward, who is going to move it forward? You should stay in the game because no one can move this work forward like you can. That's number two. Number three is that you have identified a problem. And until you solve it, people will continue to have this problem.

10:33 Now, here's the thing about clinician researchers is that they're clinicians first. And their research is birthed from the place of their clinical experience. You know how much this thing that you're tackling is a problem. Maybe you've gotten into the weeds of it so much that you've forgotten the problem that led you to the work. But this thing is a problem. And it was the problem that made you dissatisfied enough to say, I'm going to figure out how to answer this question and solve this problem. The problem bugs you. It bothers you. It bugs you and you know that if you solve this problem, it's going to be huge.

11:19 You know. But until you solve this problem, people are going to continue to have it. And so whether you stay in the game or not, this problem will bug you. It'll be the thing that got away, the thing I wanted to solve, but I never could solve. The problem continues unless you stay in the game and solve it. And so I would encourage you to stay in the game because you have identified a problem that matters to you. Therefore, you have the tools, the gift, the persuasion, the perseverance to solve the problem.

12:03 Even if you don't do it, the problem will not go away. And the fourth is that your ideas are worth fighting for. One of the frustrations, especially in leading us to think that we should quit, is just how hard it is. It is so frustrating. Why is it that the things that should be easy are not easy? Why is it that there are people standing in the way of work that is so awesome and so great? Why is it? Why is it that I have to fight just to stay above water? What is that?

12:45 But your ideas are worth fighting for. Yes, you are worth the fight. Your ideas, the value you're creating, all of it is worth fighting for. And it doesn't feel good to fight. It feels so exhausting to fight over and over and over again. But your ideas are worth fighting for, and the reason they're worth fighting for is what exists on the other side of the battle. Satisfaction, deep fulfillment, great glory, awards and accolades. We don't do the fight for the awards, for the rewards, or for the accolades. We really do the fight for the deep sense of fulfillment knowing that we bet on ourselves, and the bet paid off big.

13:35 And if you quit, you short circuit the process. You get out of the game before you win the game. Now I need to tell you that this game is rigged. You do win. At the end, you win. But you win only if you stay in the game and fight to the finish. And no, it doesn't feel good to fight. And sometimes you are just so drained. You're like, I can't do another battle and it's real. And this is why you don't fight on your own. This is why you don't fight without strategy. This is why you don't fight without community. The battle is real. But your ideas are worth fighting for.

14:15 And the fact that you're in the space where you're feeling discouraged and you're feeling like you should probably quit, this is part of the fight. This may be the greatest part of the fight. The fight, the battle against your mind, the lies that fill your mind that says you're not good enough, that says you're an imposter, the lie that says that you can't hack it, the lie that says that you would be better off somewhere else, the lie that says that your patients could get along great whether you solve the problem or not. It's the big battle that you're really fighting. And the reason you're fighting it is because of what exists on the other side of the battle.

14:58 And so reason number four why you should stay in the game is because your ideas are worth fighting for. Number five, number five, your own rule please. The fifth reason why you should stay in the game is because who you are becoming is so worth it. Who you are becoming is so worth it. Okay, you don't care for the battle scars. You do not care for the battles that you've had to fight. But man, look at you. Look at what you've become.

15:39 Look at who you've become. Look at what you can do. And think back to three years ago, four years ago, five years ago before you started this process, who you were. You've changed. You've transformed. Goodness, your focus is sharper. Your ability to crystallize a question and answer is amazing. Look at you. You know the next set of experiments to plan out. Look at you. You're not afraid of no reviewer. You're not afraid like you used to be. You can look at like a rejection and be like, okay, let's move forward. You didn't used to be able to do that.

16:21 You have changed. And it's not just that you've changed. You are still changing. Look who you're becoming. Oh my goodness. That is priceless. And that may be the biggest reason that you stay in the game. Because even though they are out to exhaust you, to bite you, and to push you out, the person you're becoming is so phenomenally awesome. You're so much more patient. You're able to see the bigger picture. You're able to put aside your differences. You're able to bring mentees together to accomplish great work.

17:02 You are becoming an amazing person. And the journey has really just begun. You stay in the game, this game that challenges you. And there's so much more coming out on the other side. Oh my goodness. You know, you stay. You stay for you. You stay for who you become. You stay for the day you look in the mirror and say, whoa, here's looking at you, kid. You stay because who you're becoming is absolutely worth every fight that you have had to fight and the day is coming when you're not going to fight like you're fighting now. The day is coming where things are going to come easy for you.

17:44 A day is coming where you're going to tell your story and other people who are struggling in the fight are going to be like, oh, I just want to be like you. And that's why you stay. Because who you're becoming is absolutely worth this experience. It feels horrible and wonderful and crazy and good all in the same word, all in the same sentence, all at the same time. It's crazy and it's amazing and it's chaotic and it's so cool. You love this game even when it frustrates you and you love it because of who you're becoming in the process. So I just want to invite you to think about who you were before you started this journey of becoming a clinician researcher.

18:33 Think about what you already have and all the things you can do now relative to that time. Think about how much you like who you are. Deep down you love who you are. You know you're good. You know how awesome you are. You just know. Even when it feels like that's in doubt, you know. Just think about that person and just think about that person times 10. Think about that person times 3,000. That's who you could become if you just stayed. Stay in the game because you want to. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

19:14 And I hope these five reasons have helped you think carefully about whether you quit or whether you stay. All right, you know somebody else who needs to hear this. Please share it with them. I look forward to talking with you again the next time. Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast where academic clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program whether or not they have a mentor. If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.

19:57 Someone else needs to hear it. So take a minute right now and share it. As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.