How to overcome the annual meeting blues

0:00 Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients. When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research program. Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit. However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.

0:40 For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene. Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast. I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is always a pleasure to be speaking with you. Thank you for tuning in. I am excited to be bringing you this episode live from the American Society of Hematology Animal Meeting, which is so pertinent to today's episode, the title of which is, How to Overcome the Animal Meeting Blues.

1:24 You know the Animal Meeting Blues, if you've never had them, they're coming to you eventually. Maybe, and maybe not. Maybe this will be the intervention that prevents you from ever having Animal Meeting Blues. But yes, I'm excited to talk to you about it. But what are the Animal Meeting Blues? Well, the Animal Meeting Blues are the experience you have when you go through the program handbook, or it's online now, so it's the app. You look and see all the people you graduated with. You either went to med school together or you went to residency together. And it seems as if every other page you turn, it's their name on there. And it's like, oh, wow, look, this person is presenting this.

2:05 And wow, they have this plenary abstract session. And oh my goodness, they're doing all this other stuff. And what am I doing? And you compare yourself to them and you feel like, wow, I'm really, oh, wow, I don't want to say bad things about myself. But you know, you don't think well of yourself because you're like, wow, what am I doing? Well, all my colleagues are just killing it. They're doing so awesome. They're presenting all these abstracts. They're doing all these sessions and I'm doing nothing. Yes, that's what the Animal Meeting Blues are about. And you finally go, you sit and you think about your life and you're like, hmm, am I even worthy of being here?

2:48 Like should I quit now? Oh my goodness. So yeah, that was me. A couple of actually maybe about an hour and a half ago where I was sitting and saying, why am I at this meeting? Look at this person and look at that person. Look at this person. And so this episode is more for me really than it is for you. But I hope that maybe this says something to you and that you can use it as well. So how do you overcome the Animal Meeting Blues? Okay, so the first thing is to take a deep breath and remember that it is all an illusion. It is all an illusion. And the reason I call it an illusion is because if you think back to seven days before the meeting, you were doing just fine.

3:34 You're excited to be going to the meeting. You're going to meet friends. You're excited to maybe present your one poster abstract. Maybe you had no poster or maybe you had nothing. It doesn't matter. You were excited about being at the meeting. It's the reason you paid a lot of money to get a flight that would bring you to the Animal Meeting location. You paid a lot of money for the hotel, not because you were forced to, but because you chose to. It was a choice you made and you were happy when you made this choice. I know because no one's forcing you to be here or no one's forcing you to go to the meeting. But you were excited before you got to the Animal Meeting. And so getting to the Animal Meeting and having anything that now causes you to rethink your life or causes you to think, am I supposed to be here, is an illusion.

4:19 It's because in one program, maybe someone feels overrepresented to you because you're paying attention to their name and you're noticing that their name is overrepresented to you in the book. Or you're noticing that relative to what you're doing, some people are doing so much more. And here's the thing, it will always be the case. Always be the case. There will always be someone doing more than you. And what you're not paying attention to is all the people who are doing less than you. So here you are at the meeting this year. Maybe you're presenting a poster, but there are a lot of people who are not at the meeting presenting anything this year. And many of them are here, but some of them are not here. And so it's all an illusion, this kind of experience that you're having of people doing so much more than you is only coming into your purview because you're looking through the annual program booklet.

5:10 And so all of a sudden, you're assessing your career on the basis of who's presenting at your annual meeting or not presenting at your annual meeting, but you're mostly focused on the people who are and the fact that you are not presenting. It's all an illusion. It's not real. If you didn't show up to the meeting, you wouldn't feel so bad. And so the fact that you're feeling bad now is a sign that you know what? It's not real. It's not real. It's not a judgment on your career. It's not a judgment on the work that you've done so far. You are an awesome clinician, researcher. You're awesome, whatever you do. And it is not a judgment on you. It's just an illusion. So take a deep breath and let the breath out and recognize that, you know what?

5:55 In a couple of days, this will all pass. Okay. Number two. Number two is to recognize that comparing yourself with anyone else is always a losing game. You can never win. Doesn't matter whether you're at the annual meeting, whether it's at a smaller meeting, whether it's at your institution, or you're just looking through the journal articles that have been publishing your favorite journal for this week. Every time you compare yourself with someone else, you lose. You always lose because, you know, actually both scenarios, to be honest to me, are worst case scenarios. So the best case scenario, let's look at it as a best case scenario, is that you're the one who's killing it.

6:40 You're the one who's on the front page. You're the one who's presenting all the abstracts. Best case scenario, you're that person who's doing everything. And then you look around and you're like, well, this other person is not doing as well and that other person is not doing as well. And then you start to feel like you're all that, like you're superior. And it's a lie. You happen to be able to present a couple more abstracts this year compared to everyone else. Doesn't make you superior to other people. It just means, wow, you had opportunity this year. That may not come again next year. So to be honest, that best case scenario is kind of like a worst case scenario because it now causes you to start looking down on people and that's not okay.

7:20 Because in science, there's no superiority. There's just everybody contributing to move things forward and different people having different opportunities to move work forward. And so any scenario that allows you to think that you're bigger than or more important than other people is not good. Not good for you, clearly not good for others, but mostly not good for you. And the worst case scenario is kind of like the thing that triggers the animal meeting blues. The thing when you look at it and you're like, my gosh, what is wrong with me? What's wrong with my life? I'm accomplishing nothing. And it's false. It's false because you know what? You're doing good work. You're doing good science. So you didn't have anything to present this year or not that many things to present.

8:01 But you know, so when you start looking at other people and you're like, well, they must be better than me. It's a lie. And now you feel inferior to them. You feel like your work is worthless, but it's not true. All of our work matters. All of our work is important, but I'm not really here to talk about everybody. I'm just here to talk about you. Your work matters. It matters before it mattered before you got on the plane. And how is it that you got off the plane and now it doesn't matter because everybody else is doing more than you? It is no good. Comparing yourself to other people is a losing strategy. Please, I want to beg you for the love of God, for the love of all things that are good. Stop doing that. I know other people will ask you to, other people will compare you.

8:44 You will invariably have a mentor who will show up and say, wow, this other person is listed seven times and I don't even see your name. What's going on with you? Because human beings are human beings. And sometimes we think that we can motivate people by comparing them to their best friends or comparing them to other people. And to be honest, it doesn't really work. And they don't know that. They still use those strategies to try to maybe convince you to do things differently because they've been trying to tell you for a long time, it doesn't matter. And I will take a step back and say, it's hard not to get caught up in the comparisons, but it's so important for your health, for your sanity, for your peace of mind that you come out of the boat of comparing yourself to other people.

9:32 It is a losing strategy. It's a losing battle. It doesn't help you because your goal, and this is where I quote a book, The Gap and the Gain, which actually invariably I haven't read yet, it's by Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Ron Sullivan. But they explain the concept in another book that I have, 10x is easier than 2x. And they talk about how if you're comparing yourself to an ideal, you're always going to fall short. But if you're comparing yourself to where you used to be, then you're always going to see that you've really, really made a big leap. And so it's important for you to start comparing yourself to other people who for whatever reason you've made them your ideal and start comparing yourself to you.

10:13 How far have you come? When you acknowledge all your successes and you acknowledge how far you've come, then you're really able to celebrate, which is what you should do. You see other people's work being presented, you celebrate. You see other people not have their work presented, you celebrate because you're not celebrating them. You're celebrating you. You're celebrating how far you've come and how far you've come is relevant, independent of what everybody else is doing. So comparing yourself with anyone else is a losing battle. Please do not engage in it. Okay, that's number two. Number three is to reconnect with the value of your work. Your work is valuable. It was valuable before you got on the plane. It will be valuable when you get back home.

10:55 Your work is always important. And if you allow yourself to get on that bandwagon of comparison where you lose excitement about your work, it's a problem because then you don't go back and take up your work with gusto and you really do need to because your work matters. You are the champion of your work and it's important for you to keep connected with the value of your work. No matter what it is in front of you, no matter how many people before you are being celebrated for their work. And you know what? You should celebrate them. You should celebrate them because it's awesome that they're having their work be presented because the day is coming where you get to be the person who's celebrated too.

11:36 And you celebrate other people because your day will come to be celebrated too. And so reconnect with the value of your work. The value of your work matters no matter who else is presenting their work. And the value of your work is made more valuable by the fact that other people are doing work that moves science forward and that really creates a platform for your work. Okay, so reconnect with the value of your work. That's number three. Number four is to recognize that you're playing the long game. You are playing the long game. Okay, so in one meeting you didn't have your work showcased as much, but you know what? Another meeting is coming and then there'll be another meeting after that and God grant you as many years as you want.

12:21 Another meeting will come, 20 meetings will come, 30 minutes meetings will come and different people will be showcased at different rates. You're playing the long game. You do not allow one meeting to get you down to where you quit on yourself or you quit on your work because you are playing the long game. Okay, number five is that in the grand scheme of life, these few days that you're at your annual meeting will be part of the things that just kind of disappear in the wash. Yeah, when you really think about it, these days are not going to be remembered. Oh, do you remember, imagine you at 90, you're looking back and you're like, do you remember that annual meeting when I had nothing in the program book and my name didn't even appear?

13:08 Yeah, that's just going to be, it's just going to, it's going to come out in the wash. It's not going to be a significant event in your life. And to be honest, if you were featured widely in the program book, it may not be that important either because in your life, there are so many things that are more consequential than how many things you presented at the annual meeting. So in the grand scheme of life, these few days, they're actually not critical. They are not that relevant. And so if you're having trouble, if you're struggling in any way, just fast forward 40 years into the future and look back up on this day and ask your 90 year old self, however, however old you would be 40, 50 years from now, and ask yourself if this day is relevant in the grand scheme.

13:58 And I think you'll find that the answer is probably no. Okay. Number six is, oh my goodness, it's time to enjoy the meeting. You came here to reconnect with old friends. You came here to make new ones. You came here for networking. You came here to have a great time. You should do that. You should reconnect with old friends. You should have a great time. You should go out with colleagues to eat. You should meet in the cafe. You should just do things and you should have a great time. Stop reading the program book. I mean, you know, you should learn something. I hope you're here to learn something. I hope you came to the meeting to learn something, but definitely make the most of these opportunities to reconnect with colleagues that you're not going to see again, probably till the next annual meeting or maybe the meeting beyond that.

14:49 So definitely don't let the Grinch steal your experience. Reconnect with old friends and have a great time. Okay. Number seven is that you should kick back and relax. So I will tell you that when I come to my annual meeting, I usually do not bring any member of my family with me. I have a whole bed to myself and wow, the room is so quiet. It's so awesome. It's a time for me to just chill. It's a time for me sometimes actually to go to bed early because it's like, wow, when else in my life do I have a chance to rest and rest as much as possible? And so whenever you can kick back and relax.

15:32 And in fact, I have to tell you, the American Society of Hematology is so awesome. They have so many amazing things at the annual meeting and it is such an opportunity to just get some things done. Go grab some swag, go talk to some industry representatives, look around and see what's at the exhibits. There's a lot of great things. And I will tell you that at our annual meeting this year, you know, they're doing free headshots. Okay, so they did that last year. I didn't take advantage of it last year, but I took advantage of this year. You know, you always want a great headshot. Sometimes it takes a few years of headshots to find a headshot that you really like. And kick back and enjoy the meeting.

16:14 Everything that has been crafted to help you have a great time, kick back and enjoy it. Go to the gym. Oh my goodness, there you are in a hotel and there's access to a gym and maybe you're not a regular at the gym at home. Well, this is an opportunity or there's a pool and it's heated. Take advantage of it. There are so many amazing things to enjoy at the annual meeting that are relevant to the meeting itself or sometimes tangential to the meeting. And if you are not enjoying them, not having a great time, not maximizing your time away from your usual responsibilities, then you're not enjoying the meeting as you should.

16:56 And so part of overcoming the annual meeting blues is actually having a great meeting. Okay. Those are seven things that I talked about. Number one, take a deep breath and remember that it is all an illusion. This too will pass. Didn't exist before. Now it will not exist following this meeting. It is an illusion. Number two, recognize that comparing yourself with anyone else is a losing strategy. Do not do it. Number three, reconnect with the value of your work. It's always going to be important. Even after the meeting is over, before the meeting was important, it will always be important. That's number three. Number four, recognize that you're here to play the long game. One meeting is just one meeting. There'll be 300 meetings after that.

17:37 Okay. If it's an annual meeting, maybe you just have 30 or maybe you just have 40 left. I don't know. But recognize that you're playing the long game. Number five, in the grand scheme of life, these few days are not relevant. Fast forward to your future. Look back and recognize that you know what? These few days do not count in the big scheme of things. Number six, make sure you're reconnecting with old friends. Number seven, kick back, relax, have a great time. Okay. This is the point at which I say if you've been hearing extraneous noises, it's because you know what? My quiet hotel room is not really quiet and there are a lot of noises that come through on the microphone. And if you didn't hear them, then kudos to my editor who got rid of all the noises.

18:18 All right. It's been a pleasure talking with you today. Please share this with someone who's coming back from an annual meeting and having the annual meeting blues and just remind them that, hey, your work is valuable. And this one too will pass. Okay. It's been a pleasure talking with you today. I look forward to talking with you again next time, resuming our regular programming and get back from the annual meeting. All right. You all take care and thank you for listening. Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.

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