Reimagining your career for health and happiness

100:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,860Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills200:00:05,860 --> 00:00:11,260to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.300:00:11,260 --> 00:00:17,340As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.400:00:17,340 --> 00:00:22,380When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find500:00:22,380 --> 00:00:27,780that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research600:00:27,780 --> 00:00:29,200program.700:00:29,200 --> 00:00:35,480Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.800:00:35,480 --> 00:00:40,580However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.900:00:40,580 --> 00:00:46,200For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians1000:00:46,200 --> 00:00:51,800the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.1100:00:51,800 --> 00:01:01,040Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.1200:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,080Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.1300:01:03,080 --> 00:01:08,420I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is an absolute pleasure to be talking with you today.1400:01:08,420 --> 00:01:10,060Thank you so much for tuning in.1500:01:10,060 --> 00:01:15,420And for those of you who are catching this a long time after it's been recorded, I just1600:01:15,420 --> 00:01:19,420want to say that I'm so excited that you are coming to this episode because I think it's1700:01:19,420 --> 00:01:22,300going to help you, and I'm hoping it's going to save lives.1800:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,500And I really do mean that.1900:01:23,500 --> 00:01:27,260I'm hoping that this is an episode that's going to save your life.2000:01:27,260 --> 00:01:30,460And if it's not going to save your life, it's going to save somebody else's life.2100:01:30,460 --> 00:01:34,780And I want to ask you to think about who that person is and forward it to them.2200:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,860Okay, so I hope I have you intrigued.2300:01:36,860 --> 00:01:39,500This episode is going to save lives.2400:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,820And that's not because people are donating to charity as a result of this episode airing,2500:01:43,820 --> 00:01:49,060but really, I think it's an important episode so that more of us could be healthy.2600:01:49,060 --> 00:01:54,140And the reason, the prompting for this episode, so this is the week of my animal meeting.2700:01:54,140 --> 00:01:57,540It's actually a weekend and a few days into the week.2800:01:57,540 --> 00:02:01,740And it's just brought a lot of introspection.2900:02:01,740 --> 00:02:05,980And today's particular episode comes from a conversation I had with a beautiful colleague3000:02:05,980 --> 00:02:08,960who, wow, I've known her for a few years.3100:02:08,960 --> 00:02:13,900And I met her at today's animal meeting and asked how she was doing.3200:02:13,900 --> 00:02:14,900And she had a major life crisis.3300:02:14,900 --> 00:02:19,860She had a major life crisis that caused her to pause and rethink her career.3400:02:19,860 --> 00:02:22,740And I remember she was sharing her crisis.3500:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,260I mean, it was a big deal.3600:02:24,260 --> 00:02:28,500And I can't share any more detail than that because it is personal.3700:02:28,500 --> 00:02:33,020But I remember stopping and thinking, oh, my goodness, I had a similar crisis.3800:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,180And I've had a similar crisis, which I can share about, but maybe I'll share about in3900:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,180a different episode.4000:02:37,180 --> 00:02:41,740Because this is really about my colleague's story, even though I'm not sharing the details.4100:02:41,740 --> 00:02:46,420But it was an important pause because I asked, how is life different now?4200:02:46,420 --> 00:02:50,940Because you've had this major change in your life.4300:02:50,940 --> 00:02:53,100How are things different today?4400:02:53,100 --> 00:02:57,580And she talked about the importance of fierce boundaries that she's now established.4500:02:57,580 --> 00:03:01,380She's like, you know, I had a total reframe of my perspective.4600:03:01,380 --> 00:03:04,260I understand what's now important to me in my life.4700:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,580And now I have fierce boundaries.4800:03:05,580 --> 00:03:09,400I don't want to do any of these things that make me crazy.4900:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,400My life was crazy.5000:03:10,400 --> 00:03:15,820I mean, it was just a really great conversation because then I got to share about my experience5100:03:15,820 --> 00:03:21,020and how I've trying to change the way I live in the academy because of the experience I5200:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,020have had.5300:03:22,020 --> 00:03:24,580And I asked her, I'm like, did we have a midlife crisis?5400:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,260So we're both considered mid-career.5500:03:26,260 --> 00:03:31,620I'm like, does this count as a mid-career crisis?5600:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,620And I don't know.5700:03:32,620 --> 00:03:33,620I don't know.5800:03:33,620 --> 00:03:37,180And one of the things she said, which was so important, and the reason I'm bringing5900:03:37,180 --> 00:03:43,620you this episode today is she said, I wish I didn't wait until there was a crisis.6000:03:43,620 --> 00:03:49,980I wish I had made the decision for myself before I had to make the decision.6100:03:49,980 --> 00:03:55,860And so that's what brings me to this episode is to talk to you about how to save yourself6200:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,720before the crash.6300:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,300Because here's the thing about the crash that's coming.6400:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,640It's going to come in one way or the other.6500:04:02,640 --> 00:04:07,260And maybe for some of you listening to me right now, you've had many crashes.6600:04:07,260 --> 00:04:12,220And what hasn't happened is the big crash, the crash to end all crashes.6700:04:12,220 --> 00:04:17,780But the crash will come because for many of us in medicine, the way we live life is not6800:04:17,780 --> 00:04:18,780sustainable.6900:04:18,780 --> 00:04:23,580And for some weird reason, we've been able to sustain it for a long time.7000:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,740For some of us, we've sustained it for years.7100:04:26,740 --> 00:04:29,580For some of us, it's been decades.7200:04:29,580 --> 00:04:37,400But if a bus is hurtling off a cliff without brakes, it's only a matter of time before7300:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,820something bad happens.7400:04:39,820 --> 00:04:42,540You know, the crash is inevitable.7500:04:42,540 --> 00:04:48,660And so this episode is an attempt to say, hey, can we pause and reflect and think about7600:04:48,660 --> 00:04:52,100how we could do things differently so that we don't get a crash?7700:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,700So I'm saying the crash doesn't have to be inevitable.7800:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,340And how can we pause?7900:04:56,340 --> 00:05:00,260You know, I want to take a moment here and I want to recognize everyone we've lost in8000:05:00,260 --> 00:05:04,8202023, everyone we've lost in medicine.8100:05:04,820 --> 00:05:11,020And you know, in talking with this colleague, I talked about faculty members, women faculty8200:05:11,020 --> 00:05:14,660members who have been lost to me at my institution.8300:05:14,660 --> 00:05:19,420And she talked about men at her institution who had been lost in violent ways.8400:05:19,420 --> 00:05:24,340And so in all honesty, it kind of makes me a little bit sad as I share this episode with8500:05:24,340 --> 00:05:25,340you.8600:05:25,340 --> 00:05:34,700So I want to pause and actually just take a moment of silence.8700:05:34,700 --> 00:05:40,300And I want to recognize that so much is lost when physicians lose their lives for whatever8800:05:40,300 --> 00:05:49,660reason, whether it's, you know, taken in a place of despair, or it's taken by illness8900:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,140that overwhelms us before we're ready.9000:05:53,140 --> 00:05:54,140Yeah.9100:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,140Okay.9200:05:55,140 --> 00:05:59,580I want to come back to a positive note because I'm feeling sad now.9300:05:59,580 --> 00:06:01,940But this is about how to save yourself before the crash.9400:06:01,940 --> 00:06:05,860I think it's really important because, wow, we're so busy.9500:06:05,860 --> 00:06:07,140We're so busy.9600:06:07,140 --> 00:06:08,860We don't have time to think about our health.9700:06:08,860 --> 00:06:12,820We don't have time to think about our emotional health, our mental health, our physical health9800:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,780until we're forced to.9900:06:14,780 --> 00:06:22,020And so the first thing I want to share in line with how to save yourself before a crash10000:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,000is to pause.10100:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,260Number one is to pause.10200:06:26,260 --> 00:06:32,820And the reason we need to pause is because until we pause, we may not have time to think10300:06:32,820 --> 00:06:33,820critically.10400:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,380We're so busy in medicine.10500:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,180We're moving from one deadline to the next deadline.10600:06:39,180 --> 00:06:44,620We're moving from one thing of patient care to the next thing of patient care.10700:06:44,620 --> 00:06:45,620There's always something.10800:06:45,620 --> 00:06:46,620We're super busy.10900:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,500We're holy, holy cow.11000:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,220We're always busy, right?11100:06:50,220 --> 00:06:53,460We're holy busy all the time.11200:06:53,460 --> 00:06:58,420And until we pause, we may not have time to reflect and think.11300:06:58,420 --> 00:07:00,500And so the first thing to do is to stop.11400:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,500Pause.11500:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,740And what does it mean to pause?11600:07:03,740 --> 00:07:09,340It really does mean taking time in your schedule, taking time.11700:07:09,340 --> 00:07:13,180Take a day, take two days and just pause.11800:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,420It's not the same as going on vacation.11900:07:15,420 --> 00:07:19,500You know where you pack everybody and the dog, put them in a car, then travel across12000:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,580country and you're like, you're pausing, you're not pausing.12100:07:22,580 --> 00:07:25,940You're still in full speed.12200:07:25,940 --> 00:07:27,820Like you're still full steam ahead.12300:07:27,820 --> 00:07:28,820You're not pausing.12400:07:28,820 --> 00:07:34,260But to pause really does mean to take time out to rest and reflect.12500:07:34,260 --> 00:07:40,620And so I'm inviting you as a first step to pause.12600:07:40,620 --> 00:07:47,020The second thing I'm inviting you to do is to spend some time in deep, honest introspection.12700:07:47,020 --> 00:07:55,420And so the pause is to allow you to create space for some deep, honest introspection.12800:07:55,420 --> 00:07:57,860And why is this necessary?12900:07:57,860 --> 00:08:01,260Because in medicine, gosh, there's so much sickness.13000:08:01,260 --> 00:08:04,620There's so many people who are not healthy.13100:08:04,620 --> 00:08:06,620Oh yes, they're successful.13200:08:06,620 --> 00:08:10,420Oh goodness, they have all the things to show.13300:08:10,420 --> 00:08:15,180They've got the manuscripts, they've got the grants, they've been funded, they've got the13400:08:15,180 --> 00:08:22,060named professorships, they've got everything, or at least it seems as if they do.13500:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,060They are not well.13600:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,060They are sick.13700:08:24,060 --> 00:08:27,220And it's a pervasive thing in medicine.13800:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,100Burnout is pervasive.13900:08:29,100 --> 00:08:33,140People who are not mentally and emotionally well, it's pervasive.14000:08:33,140 --> 00:08:38,460And there's some stigma associated with any mental ill health.14100:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,660But it's very common.14200:08:40,660 --> 00:08:43,460And people are medicating.14300:08:43,460 --> 00:08:47,340There's a lot.14400:08:47,340 --> 00:08:54,460And so looking around, we are surrounded by people who are just moving, going, going,14500:08:54,460 --> 00:08:57,580going without pausing for deep introspection.14600:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,820So if you're going to pause, you're going to spend time in deep introspection.14700:09:00,820 --> 00:09:05,440You're doing something that is countercultural in medicine.14800:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,500There is a sense that, oh, you keep working.14900:09:07,500 --> 00:09:11,100And then when you're retired, sure, if you want to retire, you can spend all this time15000:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,100introspecting.15100:09:12,100 --> 00:09:18,540But I am asking you to do that now, before you have to, or before maybe you don't even15200:09:18,540 --> 00:09:19,860have time to.15300:09:19,860 --> 00:09:24,980But to really spend time in deep, honest introspection and reflection.15400:09:24,980 --> 00:09:31,460And I'm going to say honestly, this is something that may not easily happen for you, just with15500:09:31,460 --> 00:09:34,400the way your life is structured right now.15600:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,260And it may be that you need help.15700:09:36,260 --> 00:09:40,340You need someone to come alongside you in this deep, honest introspection.15800:09:40,340 --> 00:09:46,580Now, if you have any mental health concerns, you do need a licensed mental health professional15900:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,140to talk with.16000:09:48,140 --> 00:09:50,940Maybe you need to talk with a therapist.16100:09:50,940 --> 00:09:56,220If you're not concerned about mental health issues and maybe you feel like, no, no, I'm16200:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,140not, I feel like I'm okay.16300:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,400I can do this.16400:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,060Maybe working with a coach makes sense for you to do this deep, honest reflection and16500:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,060introspection.16600:10:05,060 --> 00:10:08,100I'd be happy to be the coach that helps you do that.16700:10:08,100 --> 00:10:11,980But spend time in deep, honest introspection.16800:10:11,980 --> 00:10:12,980This is important.16900:10:12,980 --> 00:10:16,660You got to do it away from the people who are not doing this.17000:10:16,660 --> 00:10:21,100And maybe you've got to do this away from your mentors who sometimes are not healthy17100:10:21,100 --> 00:10:22,100themselves.17200:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,100They're very successful.17300:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,100Don't get me wrong.17400:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,100They're doing everything.17500:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,780I mean, they are just amazing.17600:10:27,780 --> 00:10:29,300And some of them are not healthy.17700:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,300And so spend time in deep, honest introspection.17800:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,100And what do you do?17900:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,100What do you do in this time of deep, honest introspection?18000:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,700Well, it's number three.18100:10:38,700 --> 00:10:43,860It's asking yourself, is this the life I want from me?18200:10:43,860 --> 00:10:47,060Is this the life I want from me?18300:10:47,060 --> 00:10:54,180The challenge in medicine is that there's so much that we see that is normal.18400:10:54,180 --> 00:11:03,180You know, physicians working overtime, you know, working nights, working weekends, working18500:11:03,180 --> 00:11:04,940all the time.18600:11:04,940 --> 00:11:08,060And it can feel like that's normal.18700:11:08,060 --> 00:11:13,940And so when you look around you and you feel like, OK, well, all this is normal.18800:11:13,940 --> 00:11:17,820I must just have to do it too.18900:11:17,820 --> 00:11:22,980And I'm just, again, asking you to pause and ask yourself, is this the life you want for19000:11:22,980 --> 00:11:23,980you?19100:11:23,980 --> 00:11:27,900And sometimes that's a hard question to answer, actually, because it's like, well, what other19200:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,800life is there in medicine?19300:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,200Is there any life that's not crazy busy all the time where I feel like I'm about to pull19400:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,460my hair out?19500:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,280It's so busy.19600:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,980Is there any other life?19700:11:38,980 --> 00:11:41,140I want to say the answer is yes.19800:11:41,140 --> 00:11:46,280But only if you pause long enough to ask yourself the life you're living right now.19900:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,660Is that the one you want for yourself?20000:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,140And I hear people saying, well, it's just this first grant.20100:11:51,140 --> 00:11:55,220If I can just get this first grant out the door or no, no, no, no, no, no, it's just20200:11:55,220 --> 00:11:56,220this manuscript.20300:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,340This is the manuscript of my career.20400:11:58,340 --> 00:12:02,180If I can just get this manuscript out the door, why hear somebody else say, no, no,20500:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,500no, this is the promotion.20600:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,220This is the one promotion that's going to make all the difference.20700:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,740Oh, and I've heard that.20800:12:08,740 --> 00:12:10,700I hear that all the time.20900:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,900And none of it is true.21000:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,360There's not one grant.21100:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,580There's not one manuscript.21200:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,380There's not one promotion.21300:12:17,380 --> 00:12:18,620It doesn't end.21400:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,640It keeps going.21500:12:20,640 --> 00:12:26,460And sometimes, you know, people, I lull myself into the lie of, well, you know, I'm just21600:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,060busy right now in this season.21700:12:28,060 --> 00:12:30,940As soon as this grant is over, life goes back to normal.21800:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,140But you know, it's not true.21900:12:33,140 --> 00:12:35,180There is no back to normal.22000:12:35,180 --> 00:12:40,540There's only this crazy pace that you've been keeping up for a while and so many people22100:12:40,540 --> 00:12:44,380around you are also doing as well.22200:12:44,380 --> 00:12:49,900And so ask yourself the question, is this a life I want for myself?22300:12:49,900 --> 00:12:54,260And if you're struggling, if you're like, I don't know, I don't know any other life.22400:12:54,260 --> 00:12:56,060I don't, I don't know.22500:12:56,060 --> 00:12:57,060It's helping me.22600:12:57,060 --> 00:12:59,080I'm, you know, becoming well known.22700:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,080People are calling me.22800:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,700I'm giving talks all over the country.22900:13:01,700 --> 00:13:03,820I don't know if I can have any other life.23000:13:03,820 --> 00:13:09,900Then maybe the question you want to answer is, is this the life you want for your loved23100:13:09,900 --> 00:13:10,900one?23200:13:10,900 --> 00:13:15,020So maybe if you have children, like, is this the life you want for them?23300:13:15,020 --> 00:13:20,660Or maybe if you have a great friend, like, is this the life you'd want for them?23400:13:20,660 --> 00:13:21,660Right?23500:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,460Ask the question, is this the life you want for yourself?23600:13:24,460 --> 00:13:29,740And if you're struggling to answer that question, ask, is this the life I want for someone that23700:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,740I love and care about?23800:13:32,740 --> 00:13:38,940The reason you want to ask that question is because if there is anything short of yes,23900:13:38,940 --> 00:13:42,940absolutely, then something's got to change.24000:13:42,940 --> 00:13:48,300If there is any pause, any hesitation, any sense that the life you're living now is not24100:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,140the one you want for yourself, it's time to pause.24200:13:51,140 --> 00:13:56,940I mean, you're kind of already pausing because you're spending time in deep, honest introspection.24300:13:56,940 --> 00:14:00,420Now, if you are answering the question, is this the life I want for myself?24400:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,420And you say no.24500:14:01,420 --> 00:14:11,300Or you say, well, yeah, but if there is anything short of an enthusiastic, absolutely, yes,24600:14:11,300 --> 00:14:16,480this is the life of my dreams, then it's time to ask for something different.24700:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,940It's time to make different decisions.24800:14:19,940 --> 00:14:24,440Because wherever you are in your life right now, you're there because you chose.24900:14:24,440 --> 00:14:29,660That's a choice you've made, or it's the result of multiple choices you've made.25000:14:29,660 --> 00:14:33,340And granted, there are a lot of bad examples around you.25100:14:33,340 --> 00:14:38,780And so if you've made this choice, it's because it's what you see and you have accepted as25200:14:38,780 --> 00:14:39,780the default.25300:14:39,780 --> 00:14:44,980But if for whatever reason, though, it's not the life you want for yourself, and I think25400:14:44,980 --> 00:14:49,820this is going to be most of us the answer, it's like, I like some of it, but I don't25500:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,740like all of it.25600:14:51,740 --> 00:14:57,380Then ask yourself, and this is number four, what pieces of the life I have now do I want25700:14:57,380 --> 00:14:58,380to keep?25800:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,980Well, part of what I have do I like?25900:15:01,980 --> 00:15:02,980Because you know what?26000:15:02,980 --> 00:15:06,180I was talking about this with a colleague earlier.26100:15:06,180 --> 00:15:07,220Medicine is fun.26200:15:07,220 --> 00:15:08,380We enjoy what we do.26300:15:08,380 --> 00:15:10,060We love to care for our patients.26400:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,260We love to care for other people.26500:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,060We love our scholarship.26600:15:14,060 --> 00:15:17,740We love the opportunity to create new knowledge.26700:15:17,740 --> 00:15:19,660We love what we do.26800:15:19,660 --> 00:15:22,460We absolutely do.26900:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,200And that's great.27000:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,820And I want you to think about all the things that you love and you want to keep about your27100:15:28,820 --> 00:15:35,020work, the intellectual stimulation, the opportunity to interact with colleagues who are brilliant,27200:15:35,020 --> 00:15:38,660the opportunity to do scholarly work for a living.27300:15:38,660 --> 00:15:42,380I mean, all those things are so awesome.27400:15:42,380 --> 00:15:47,040And then number five is to ask yourself, well, what pieces can I do without?27500:15:47,040 --> 00:15:52,420What pieces do I just not want?27600:15:52,420 --> 00:15:54,100Every third night call maybe.27700:15:54,100 --> 00:15:58,540You're like, well, I could do that easily when I was 27, but I don't know that I can27800:15:58,540 --> 00:16:02,340do it so well at the age of 54.27900:16:02,340 --> 00:16:07,220And it's OK to just have that thought because your mind is going to want to say, well, who's28000:16:07,220 --> 00:16:08,220going to do it?28100:16:08,220 --> 00:16:10,700Well, if I don't do it, no one else is going to do it.28200:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,180No, I can't even think like that.28300:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,180I know.28400:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,340Your mind is going to start to play games and play tricks on you and it's going to want28500:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,060you to not think that way.28600:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,180But just consider this a thought experiment.28700:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,180You're not making any commitments.28800:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,980You're not making any decisions.28900:16:23,980 --> 00:16:27,540You are just thinking.29000:16:27,540 --> 00:16:31,180And so you're going to say, what pieces do I not want to keep?29100:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,980Maybe it is the overnight call.29200:16:32,980 --> 00:16:37,420Maybe it's the trauma call that you take every third night.29300:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,140Maybe it's the baby delivery.29400:16:39,140 --> 00:16:42,260If you're an OB-GYN, you're like, you know what?29500:16:42,260 --> 00:16:47,020I was able to do this for a long time and I was able to do it OK, but I'm 67 and I don't29600:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,820want to do this OB call anymore.29700:16:49,820 --> 00:16:50,820Just think about it.29800:16:50,820 --> 00:16:52,180What pieces can you do without?29900:16:52,180 --> 00:16:55,900One of the parts you love, that was number four.30000:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,220And what pieces can you do without?30100:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,180And it really is a place of being honest.30200:17:00,180 --> 00:17:03,020And I have to tell you that this is hard.30300:17:03,020 --> 00:17:08,620It's hard for us as physicians because we have the sense of duty, the sense of responsibility.30400:17:08,620 --> 00:17:12,180And even if it's not just us, we're like, well, if I don't do it, then all my colleagues30500:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,940are going to have to be saddled with it.30600:17:13,940 --> 00:17:15,340And I don't want to put them in that position.30700:17:15,340 --> 00:17:17,820And you keep going on and on.30800:17:17,820 --> 00:17:23,060And then it's hard for you to be honest with yourself because the conflict is so real.30900:17:23,060 --> 00:17:24,060It's so great.31000:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,820You're like, I can't even think like that.31100:17:25,820 --> 00:17:26,860It seems like treason.31200:17:26,860 --> 00:17:29,340It seems like the wrong thing to think.31300:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,980I'm just asking you to think.31400:17:30,980 --> 00:17:32,700I'm not asking you to make any commitments.31500:17:32,700 --> 00:17:37,060And so if you're feeling panicked right now, I just want you to pause.31600:17:37,060 --> 00:17:41,300I just want you to pause and say, hey, mind, it's OK.31700:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,460This is just a thought experiment.31800:17:43,460 --> 00:17:45,020It's going to be OK.31900:17:45,020 --> 00:17:49,780And just talk yourself down out of that really high heart rate that's kind of evolving right32000:17:49,780 --> 00:17:54,980now because you're thinking about the pieces of medicine that you don't like, that you32100:17:54,980 --> 00:17:57,520can do without.32200:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,560The next thing I want to invite you to do is go to the future.32300:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,860So I want you to close your eyes right now.32400:18:03,860 --> 00:18:12,620And then I want you to transport yourself 30 to 40 years into the future.32500:18:12,620 --> 00:18:16,500And if you're a little bit older and you're like, I don't know about 30 or 40 years, OK,32600:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,500just go 20.32700:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,820Just go 25.32800:18:19,820 --> 00:18:27,340Go into the future and find your future self and check in with your future self.32900:18:27,340 --> 00:18:32,020Hey, future self, what regrets do you have?33000:18:32,020 --> 00:18:38,100What do you wish that you had done differently?33100:18:38,100 --> 00:18:41,060And spend some time with your future self and ask that question.33200:18:41,060 --> 00:18:46,100Hey, future self, what regrets do you have?33300:18:46,100 --> 00:18:49,860And really listen because your future self has something to tell you.33400:18:49,860 --> 00:18:54,760There's a whole guided meditation that you do to get to your future self that really33500:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,600is kind of outside of the scope of the podcast.33600:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,860And I would love to do it with you.33700:18:58,860 --> 00:19:04,380Shoot me a DM, we'll get together so we can do it as you think about whether coaching33800:19:04,380 --> 00:19:07,420is right for you.33900:19:07,420 --> 00:19:11,300But do go to your future self and ask, what regrets do you have?34000:19:11,300 --> 00:19:15,740And listen, listen to what your future self tells you.34100:19:15,740 --> 00:19:18,620Because I have to tell you that there are some of the things that are so high on your34200:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,860priority list right now.34300:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,360Some of the things you're doing right now that are working you into the ground.34400:19:24,360 --> 00:19:28,560So many things you're doing right now that are making you sick.34500:19:28,560 --> 00:19:34,980Your future self is going to say, I regret investing so much time in doing all of that34600:19:34,980 --> 00:19:35,980stuff.34700:19:35,980 --> 00:19:40,660And it's really important you check in about regrets.34800:19:40,660 --> 00:19:45,880Because number seven is for you to come back to the present, come back to today and do34900:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,420something about it.35000:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,460Do something about it.35100:19:50,460 --> 00:19:54,500And the reason it's important to do something about it is because if you do not do something35200:19:54,500 --> 00:19:58,300about it, nobody else will.35300:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,300We're better or for worse.35400:19:59,300 --> 00:20:03,900We have a culture in medicine where everybody assumes that everybody else is doing well.35500:20:03,900 --> 00:20:08,460And everybody assumes that somebody else's responsibility, it's your responsibility35600:20:08,460 --> 00:20:09,460to take care of yourself.35700:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,780Your responsibility to say if you're not feeling well.35800:20:11,780 --> 00:20:14,120Your responsibility to take the help that you need.35900:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,520Your responsibility to do all these things.36000:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,140And I agree, you are responsible.36100:20:19,140 --> 00:20:21,780I think we need to support each other more than that.36200:20:21,780 --> 00:20:25,940Where if we see someone in trouble, we're like, hey, you look like you're in trouble.36300:20:25,940 --> 00:20:29,780I need to help you get the intervention you need.36400:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,620We really do need that kind of culture where we're looking out for each other.36500:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,980But that's not what we are.36600:20:33,980 --> 00:20:40,500We're in this culture where we expect so much from ourselves and from each other that we're36700:20:40,500 --> 00:20:43,260not asking, hey, are you okay?36800:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,660Are you well?36900:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,660Are you safe?37000:20:45,660 --> 00:20:48,500We're not asking those questions.37100:20:48,500 --> 00:20:55,900And so until the culture changes, and I don't know if it ever changes, you have a responsibility37200:20:55,900 --> 00:21:00,820to yourself to do something about the things that are not allowing you to be healthy, no37300:21:00,820 --> 00:21:02,780matter what they are.37400:21:02,780 --> 00:21:04,500And yes, people are going to look at you funny.37500:21:04,500 --> 00:21:09,860And yes, people are going to say, well, you know, clearly you don't have what it takes.37600:21:09,860 --> 00:21:13,540Because in medicine, unfortunately, we do that.37700:21:13,540 --> 00:21:19,460But I'm inviting you, I'm inviting you to be countercultural, to stop and think about37800:21:19,460 --> 00:21:24,380yourself, to stop and think about your health, to stop and think about the regrets you're37900:21:24,380 --> 00:21:28,460going to have with the life that you may be living right now.38000:21:28,460 --> 00:21:32,100And ask yourself, how can I do things differently?38100:21:32,100 --> 00:21:35,180And I do want to acknowledge that this is a hard question.38200:21:35,180 --> 00:21:38,460And I do want to acknowledge that it takes time to come to the right answer.38300:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,940It is not always straightforward.38400:21:40,940 --> 00:21:44,820It is not even as easy as quitting your job because there's so much, so much wrapped up38500:21:44,820 --> 00:21:45,820in that.38600:21:45,820 --> 00:21:49,620It's not even as easy as saying, well, I'm not going to do these things anymore.38700:21:49,620 --> 00:21:53,460There is so much, so much involved in it.38800:21:53,460 --> 00:21:56,540And so to be honest, you're going to need to get help.38900:21:56,540 --> 00:22:00,740And some of that help is going to come from being in community with other people who are39000:22:00,740 --> 00:22:07,300thinking like you are, as to how can I live and enjoy the parts of my job that I enjoy39100:22:07,300 --> 00:22:12,140and still be healthy in the process?39200:22:12,140 --> 00:22:14,060Because we can do this career.39300:22:14,060 --> 00:22:18,420We can do this career in a way that's healthy, in a way that's consistent with our values.39400:22:18,420 --> 00:22:22,060We can do this career.39500:22:22,060 --> 00:22:27,580And I don't want you to buy the lie that it can only be done at like a fast, super fast39600:22:27,580 --> 00:22:31,900pace where you're either all in or you're just nothing.39700:22:31,900 --> 00:22:32,900Don't believe that lie.39800:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,900It's not true.39900:22:35,900 --> 00:22:39,500But I'm inviting you to return to the present and do something about it because if you don't40000:22:39,500 --> 00:22:43,340do something about it, if you don't do something about your experience, nobody else is going40100:22:43,340 --> 00:22:46,340to do that for you.40200:22:46,340 --> 00:22:48,780Okay.40300:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,580That's number seven.40400:22:50,580 --> 00:22:52,500So seven things that I talked about.40500:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,220Number one, pause.40600:22:54,220 --> 00:22:57,340Number two, spend time in deep, honest introspection.40700:22:57,340 --> 00:23:00,900Number three, ask yourself, is this the life I want for myself?40800:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,620Number four, find out what pieces you actually want to keep.40900:23:04,620 --> 00:23:07,500Number five, what pieces can you do without?41000:23:07,500 --> 00:23:12,540Number six, go forward into the future, 20, 30, 40 years from now, and meet with your41100:23:12,540 --> 00:23:14,820future self and check in about your regrets.41200:23:14,820 --> 00:23:17,920And then number seven, come back to the present.41300:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,340Do something about it because if you don't do something about it, nobody else will.41400:23:22,340 --> 00:23:23,340All right.41500:23:23,340 --> 00:23:25,060I'm inviting you to health.41600:23:25,060 --> 00:23:26,660I'm inviting you to wealth.41700:23:26,660 --> 00:23:28,540I'm inviting you to joy.41800:23:28,540 --> 00:23:33,700I'm inviting you to a career that you love that serves you and is healthy and does not41900:23:33,700 --> 00:23:38,380lead you off the cliff, that does not lead you off the deep end, that does not allow42000:23:38,380 --> 00:23:40,380you to crash.42100:23:40,380 --> 00:23:43,340I'm inviting you to think differently about your career.42200:23:43,340 --> 00:23:48,460And I'm inviting you to forward this to somebody else who needs to hear this, who needs to42300:23:48,460 --> 00:23:53,580be encouraged that it is okay to take time out and make a decision about how you want42400:23:53,580 --> 00:23:56,500your career to be from this day forward.42500:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,620It doesn't have to remain the same.42600:23:58,620 --> 00:24:04,420And so please share it with someone who needs to hear this because we got to save more lives.42700:24:04,420 --> 00:24:06,300More physician lives need saving.42800:24:06,300 --> 00:24:10,180And yes, we hear about the people who don't make it.42900:24:10,180 --> 00:24:12,380We hear about our colleagues who've died.43000:24:12,380 --> 00:24:18,280But what we don't hear about is our colleagues whose lives are like totally wrecked because43100:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,420they didn't make changes, whose health is wrecked.43200:24:22,420 --> 00:24:24,900We don't hear about that as often.43300:24:24,900 --> 00:24:29,420And so I just invite you, you know, someone who needs, who needs to pick me up, who needs43400:24:29,420 --> 00:24:33,700encouragement today, and then making the right choice and rethinking the way they do their43500:24:33,700 --> 00:24:36,900career and maybe that person is you.43600:24:36,900 --> 00:24:42,420I just invite you to just invite others into the space of deep introspection and reflection43700:24:42,420 --> 00:24:46,340about what a healthy career looks like and what steps you can take to get there.43800:24:46,340 --> 00:24:47,340All right.43900:24:47,340 --> 00:24:48,340It's been a pleasure talking with you today.44000:24:48,340 --> 00:24:49,340Thank you so much.44100:24:49,340 --> 00:24:50,340Have a great day.44200:24:50,340 --> 00:25:00,700I'll talk to you again the next time.44300:25:00,700 --> 00:25:06,060Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast, where academic44400:25:06,060 --> 00:25:11,780clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they44500:25:11,780 --> 00:25:12,820have a mentor.44600:25:12,820 --> 00:25:18,940If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.44700:25:18,940 --> 00:25:20,660Someone else needs to hear it.44800:25:20,660 --> 00:25:24,720So take a minute right now and share it.44900:25:24,720 --> 00:25:30,180As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation45000:25:30,180 --> 00:25:36,300of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.