Reimagining your career for health and happiness

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,860 Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills 2 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:11,260 to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. 3 00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:17,340 As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients. 4 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:22,380 When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find 5 00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:27,780 that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research 6 00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:29,200 program. 7 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:35,480 Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit. 8 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:40,580 However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs. 9 00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:46,200 For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:51,800 the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. 11 00:00:51,800 --> 00:01:01,040 Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene. 12 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,080 Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast. 13 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:08,420 I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is an absolute pleasure to be talking with you today. 14 00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:10,060 Thank you so much for tuning in. 15 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:15,420 And for those of you who are catching this a long time after it's been recorded, I just 16 00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:19,420 want to say that I'm so excited that you are coming to this episode because I think it's 17 00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:22,300 going to help you, and I'm hoping it's going to save lives. 18 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,500 And I really do mean that. 19 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:27,260 I'm hoping that this is an episode that's going to save your life. 20 00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:30,460 And if it's not going to save your life, it's going to save somebody else's life. 21 00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:34,780 And I want to ask you to think about who that person is and forward it to them. 22 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,860 Okay, so I hope I have you intrigued. 23 00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:39,500 This episode is going to save lives. 24 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,820 And that's not because people are donating to charity as a result of this episode airing, 25 00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:49,060 but really, I think it's an important episode so that more of us could be healthy. 26 00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:54,140 And the reason, the prompting for this episode, so this is the week of my animal meeting. 27 00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:57,540 It's actually a weekend and a few days into the week. 28 00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:01,740 And it's just brought a lot of introspection. 29 00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:05,980 And today's particular episode comes from a conversation I had with a beautiful colleague 30 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:08,960 who, wow, I've known her for a few years. 31 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:13,900 And I met her at today's animal meeting and asked how she was doing. 32 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:14,900 And she had a major life crisis. 33 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:19,860 She had a major life crisis that caused her to pause and rethink her career. 34 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:22,740 And I remember she was sharing her crisis. 35 00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,260 I mean, it was a big deal. 36 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:28,500 And I can't share any more detail than that because it is personal. 37 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:33,020 But I remember stopping and thinking, oh, my goodness, I had a similar crisis. 38 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,180 And I've had a similar crisis, which I can share about, but maybe I'll share about in 39 00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,180 a different episode. 40 00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:41,740 Because this is really about my colleague's story, even though I'm not sharing the details. 41 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:46,420 But it was an important pause because I asked, how is life different now? 42 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:50,940 Because you've had this major change in your life. 43 00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:53,100 How are things different today? 44 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:57,580 And she talked about the importance of fierce boundaries that she's now established. 45 00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:01,380 She's like, you know, I had a total reframe of my perspective. 46 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:04,260 I understand what's now important to me in my life. 47 00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,580 And now I have fierce boundaries. 48 00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:09,400 I don't want to do any of these things that make me crazy. 49 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,400 My life was crazy. 50 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:15,820 I mean, it was just a really great conversation because then I got to share about my experience 51 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:21,020 and how I've trying to change the way I live in the academy because of the experience I 52 00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,020 have had. 53 00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:24,580 And I asked her, I'm like, did we have a midlife crisis? 54 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,260 So we're both considered mid-career. 55 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:31,620 I'm like, does this count as a mid-career crisis? 56 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,620 And I don't know. 57 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:33,620 I don't know. 58 00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:37,180 And one of the things she said, which was so important, and the reason I'm bringing 59 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:43,620 you this episode today is she said, I wish I didn't wait until there was a crisis. 60 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:49,980 I wish I had made the decision for myself before I had to make the decision. 61 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:55,860 And so that's what brings me to this episode is to talk to you about how to save yourself 62 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,720 before the crash. 63 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,300 Because here's the thing about the crash that's coming. 64 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,640 It's going to come in one way or the other. 65 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:07,260 And maybe for some of you listening to me right now, you've had many crashes. 66 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:12,220 And what hasn't happened is the big crash, the crash to end all crashes. 67 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:17,780 But the crash will come because for many of us in medicine, the way we live life is not 68 00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:18,780 sustainable. 69 00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:23,580 And for some weird reason, we've been able to sustain it for a long time. 70 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,740 For some of us, we've sustained it for years. 71 00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:29,580 For some of us, it's been decades. 72 00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:37,400 But if a bus is hurtling off a cliff without brakes, it's only a matter of time before 73 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,820 something bad happens. 74 00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:42,540 You know, the crash is inevitable. 75 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:48,660 And so this episode is an attempt to say, hey, can we pause and reflect and think about 76 00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:52,100 how we could do things differently so that we don't get a crash? 77 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,700 So I'm saying the crash doesn't have to be inevitable. 78 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,340 And how can we pause? 79 00:04:56,340 --> 00:05:00,260 You know, I want to take a moment here and I want to recognize everyone we've lost in 80 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:04,820 2023, everyone we've lost in medicine. 81 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:11,020 And you know, in talking with this colleague, I talked about faculty members, women faculty 82 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:14,660 members who have been lost to me at my institution. 83 00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:19,420 And she talked about men at her institution who had been lost in violent ways. 84 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:24,340 And so in all honesty, it kind of makes me a little bit sad as I share this episode with 85 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:25,340 you. 86 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:34,700 So I want to pause and actually just take a moment of silence. 87 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:40,300 And I want to recognize that so much is lost when physicians lose their lives for whatever 88 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:49,660 reason, whether it's, you know, taken in a place of despair, or it's taken by illness 89 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,140 that overwhelms us before we're ready. 90 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:54,140 Yeah. 91 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,140 Okay. 92 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:59,580 I want to come back to a positive note because I'm feeling sad now. 93 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:01,940 But this is about how to save yourself before the crash. 94 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:05,860 I think it's really important because, wow, we're so busy. 95 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:07,140 We're so busy. 96 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:08,860 We don't have time to think about our health. 97 00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:12,820 We don't have time to think about our emotional health, our mental health, our physical health 98 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,780 until we're forced to. 99 00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:22,020 And so the first thing I want to share in line with how to save yourself before a crash 100 00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,000 is to pause. 101 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,260 Number one is to pause. 102 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:32,820 And the reason we need to pause is because until we pause, we may not have time to think 103 00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:33,820 critically. 104 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,380 We're so busy in medicine. 105 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,180 We're moving from one deadline to the next deadline. 106 00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:44,620 We're moving from one thing of patient care to the next thing of patient care. 107 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:45,620 There's always something. 108 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:46,620 We're super busy. 109 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,500 We're holy, holy cow. 110 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,220 We're always busy, right? 111 00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:53,460 We're holy busy all the time. 112 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:58,420 And until we pause, we may not have time to reflect and think. 113 00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:00,500 And so the first thing to do is to stop. 114 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,500 Pause. 115 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,740 And what does it mean to pause? 116 00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:09,340 It really does mean taking time in your schedule, taking time. 117 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:13,180 Take a day, take two days and just pause. 118 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,420 It's not the same as going on vacation. 119 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:19,500 You know where you pack everybody and the dog, put them in a car, then travel across 120 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,580 country and you're like, you're pausing, you're not pausing. 121 00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:25,940 You're still in full speed. 122 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:27,820 Like you're still full steam ahead. 123 00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:28,820 You're not pausing. 124 00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:34,260 But to pause really does mean to take time out to rest and reflect. 125 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:40,620 And so I'm inviting you as a first step to pause. 126 00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:47,020 The second thing I'm inviting you to do is to spend some time in deep, honest introspection. 127 00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:55,420 And so the pause is to allow you to create space for some deep, honest introspection. 128 00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:57,860 And why is this necessary? 129 00:07:57,860 --> 00:08:01,260 Because in medicine, gosh, there's so much sickness. 130 00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:04,620 There's so many people who are not healthy. 131 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:06,620 Oh yes, they're successful. 132 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:10,420 Oh goodness, they have all the things to show. 133 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:15,180 They've got the manuscripts, they've got the grants, they've been funded, they've got the 134 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:22,060 named professorships, they've got everything, or at least it seems as if they do. 135 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,060 They are not well. 136 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,060 They are sick. 137 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:27,220 And it's a pervasive thing in medicine. 138 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,100 Burnout is pervasive. 139 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:33,140 People who are not mentally and emotionally well, it's pervasive. 140 00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:38,460 And there's some stigma associated with any mental ill health. 141 00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,660 But it's very common. 142 00:08:40,660 --> 00:08:43,460 And people are medicating. 143 00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:47,340 There's a lot. 144 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:54,460 And so looking around, we are surrounded by people who are just moving, going, going, 145 00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:57,580 going without pausing for deep introspection. 146 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,820 So if you're going to pause, you're going to spend time in deep introspection. 147 00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:05,440 You're doing something that is countercultural in medicine. 148 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,500 There is a sense that, oh, you keep working. 149 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:11,100 And then when you're retired, sure, if you want to retire, you can spend all this time 150 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,100 introspecting. 151 00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:18,540 But I am asking you to do that now, before you have to, or before maybe you don't even 152 00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:19,860 have time to. 153 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:24,980 But to really spend time in deep, honest introspection and reflection. 154 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:31,460 And I'm going to say honestly, this is something that may not easily happen for you, just with 155 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:34,400 the way your life is structured right now. 156 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,260 And it may be that you need help. 157 00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:40,340 You need someone to come alongside you in this deep, honest introspection. 158 00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:46,580 Now, if you have any mental health concerns, you do need a licensed mental health professional 159 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,140 to talk with. 160 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:50,940 Maybe you need to talk with a therapist. 161 00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:56,220 If you're not concerned about mental health issues and maybe you feel like, no, no, I'm 162 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,140 not, I feel like I'm okay. 163 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,400 I can do this. 164 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,060 Maybe working with a coach makes sense for you to do this deep, honest reflection and 165 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,060 introspection. 166 00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:08,100 I'd be happy to be the coach that helps you do that. 167 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:11,980 But spend time in deep, honest introspection. 168 00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:12,980 This is important. 169 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:16,660 You got to do it away from the people who are not doing this. 170 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:21,100 And maybe you've got to do this away from your mentors who sometimes are not healthy 171 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:22,100 themselves. 172 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,100 They're very successful. 173 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,100 Don't get me wrong. 174 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,100 They're doing everything. 175 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,780 I mean, they are just amazing. 176 00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:29,300 And some of them are not healthy. 177 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,300 And so spend time in deep, honest introspection. 178 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,100 And what do you do? 179 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,100 What do you do in this time of deep, honest introspection? 180 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,700 Well, it's number three. 181 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:43,860 It's asking yourself, is this the life I want from me? 182 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:47,060 Is this the life I want from me? 183 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:54,180 The challenge in medicine is that there's so much that we see that is normal. 184 00:10:54,180 --> 00:11:03,180 You know, physicians working overtime, you know, working nights, working weekends, working 185 00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:04,940 all the time. 186 00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:08,060 And it can feel like that's normal. 187 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:13,940 And so when you look around you and you feel like, OK, well, all this is normal. 188 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:17,820 I must just have to do it too. 189 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:22,980 And I'm just, again, asking you to pause and ask yourself, is this the life you want for 190 00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:23,980 you? 191 00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:27,900 And sometimes that's a hard question to answer, actually, because it's like, well, what other 192 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,800 life is there in medicine? 193 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,200 Is there any life that's not crazy busy all the time where I feel like I'm about to pull 194 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,460 my hair out? 195 00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,280 It's so busy. 196 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,980 Is there any other life? 197 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:41,140 I want to say the answer is yes. 198 00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:46,280 But only if you pause long enough to ask yourself the life you're living right now. 199 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,660 Is that the one you want for yourself? 200 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,140 And I hear people saying, well, it's just this first grant. 201 00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:55,220 If I can just get this first grant out the door or no, no, no, no, no, no, it's just 202 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:56,220 this manuscript. 203 00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,340 This is the manuscript of my career. 204 00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:02,180 If I can just get this manuscript out the door, why hear somebody else say, no, no, 205 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,500 no, this is the promotion. 206 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,220 This is the one promotion that's going to make all the difference. 207 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,740 Oh, and I've heard that. 208 00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:10,700 I hear that all the time. 209 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,900 And none of it is true. 210 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,360 There's not one grant. 211 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,580 There's not one manuscript. 212 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,380 There's not one promotion. 213 00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:18,620 It doesn't end. 214 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,640 It keeps going. 215 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:26,460 And sometimes, you know, people, I lull myself into the lie of, well, you know, I'm just 216 00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,060 busy right now in this season. 217 00:12:28,060 --> 00:12:30,940 As soon as this grant is over, life goes back to normal. 218 00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,140 But you know, it's not true. 219 00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:35,180 There is no back to normal. 220 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:40,540 There's only this crazy pace that you've been keeping up for a while and so many people 221 00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:44,380 around you are also doing as well. 222 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:49,900 And so ask yourself the question, is this a life I want for myself? 223 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:54,260 And if you're struggling, if you're like, I don't know, I don't know any other life. 224 00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:56,060 I don't, I don't know. 225 00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:57,060 It's helping me. 226 00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:59,080 I'm, you know, becoming well known. 227 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,080 People are calling me. 228 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,700 I'm giving talks all over the country. 229 00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:03,820 I don't know if I can have any other life. 230 00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:09,900 Then maybe the question you want to answer is, is this the life you want for your loved 231 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:10,900 one? 232 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:15,020 So maybe if you have children, like, is this the life you want for them? 233 00:13:15,020 --> 00:13:20,660 Or maybe if you have a great friend, like, is this the life you'd want for them? 234 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:21,660 Right? 235 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,460 Ask the question, is this the life you want for yourself? 236 00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:29,740 And if you're struggling to answer that question, ask, is this the life I want for someone that 237 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,740 I love and care about? 238 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:38,940 The reason you want to ask that question is because if there is anything short of yes, 239 00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:42,940 absolutely, then something's got to change. 240 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:48,300 If there is any pause, any hesitation, any sense that the life you're living now is not 241 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,140 the one you want for yourself, it's time to pause. 242 00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:56,940 I mean, you're kind of already pausing because you're spending time in deep, honest introspection. 243 00:13:56,940 --> 00:14:00,420 Now, if you are answering the question, is this the life I want for myself? 244 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,420 And you say no. 245 00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:11,300 Or you say, well, yeah, but if there is anything short of an enthusiastic, absolutely, yes, 246 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:16,480 this is the life of my dreams, then it's time to ask for something different. 247 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,940 It's time to make different decisions. 248 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:24,440 Because wherever you are in your life right now, you're there because you chose. 249 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:29,660 That's a choice you've made, or it's the result of multiple choices you've made. 250 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:33,340 And granted, there are a lot of bad examples around you. 251 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:38,780 And so if you've made this choice, it's because it's what you see and you have accepted as 252 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:39,780 the default. 253 00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:44,980 But if for whatever reason, though, it's not the life you want for yourself, and I think 254 00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:49,820 this is going to be most of us the answer, it's like, I like some of it, but I don't 255 00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,740 like all of it. 256 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:57,380 Then ask yourself, and this is number four, what pieces of the life I have now do I want 257 00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:58,380 to keep? 258 00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,980 Well, part of what I have do I like? 259 00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:02,980 Because you know what? 260 00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:06,180 I was talking about this with a colleague earlier. 261 00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:07,220 Medicine is fun. 262 00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:08,380 We enjoy what we do. 263 00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:10,060 We love to care for our patients. 264 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,260 We love to care for other people. 265 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,060 We love our scholarship. 266 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:17,740 We love the opportunity to create new knowledge. 267 00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:19,660 We love what we do. 268 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:22,460 We absolutely do. 269 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,200 And that's great. 270 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,820 And I want you to think about all the things that you love and you want to keep about your 271 00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:35,020 work, the intellectual stimulation, the opportunity to interact with colleagues who are brilliant, 272 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:38,660 the opportunity to do scholarly work for a living. 273 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:42,380 I mean, all those things are so awesome. 274 00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:47,040 And then number five is to ask yourself, well, what pieces can I do without? 275 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:52,420 What pieces do I just not want? 276 00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:54,100 Every third night call maybe. 277 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:58,540 You're like, well, I could do that easily when I was 27, but I don't know that I can 278 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:02,340 do it so well at the age of 54. 279 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:07,220 And it's OK to just have that thought because your mind is going to want to say, well, who's 280 00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:08,220 going to do it? 281 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:10,700 Well, if I don't do it, no one else is going to do it. 282 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,180 No, I can't even think like that. 283 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,180 I know. 284 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,340 Your mind is going to start to play games and play tricks on you and it's going to want 285 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,060 you to not think that way. 286 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,180 But just consider this a thought experiment. 287 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,180 You're not making any commitments. 288 00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,980 You're not making any decisions. 289 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:27,540 You are just thinking. 290 00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:31,180 And so you're going to say, what pieces do I not want to keep? 291 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,980 Maybe it is the overnight call. 292 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:37,420 Maybe it's the trauma call that you take every third night. 293 00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,140 Maybe it's the baby delivery. 294 00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:42,260 If you're an OB-GYN, you're like, you know what? 295 00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:47,020 I was able to do this for a long time and I was able to do it OK, but I'm 67 and I don't 296 00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,820 want to do this OB call anymore. 297 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:50,820 Just think about it. 298 00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:52,180 What pieces can you do without? 299 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:55,900 One of the parts you love, that was number four. 300 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,220 And what pieces can you do without? 301 00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,180 And it really is a place of being honest. 302 00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:03,020 And I have to tell you that this is hard. 303 00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:08,620 It's hard for us as physicians because we have the sense of duty, the sense of responsibility. 304 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:12,180 And even if it's not just us, we're like, well, if I don't do it, then all my colleagues 305 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,940 are going to have to be saddled with it. 306 00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:15,340 And I don't want to put them in that position. 307 00:17:15,340 --> 00:17:17,820 And you keep going on and on. 308 00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:23,060 And then it's hard for you to be honest with yourself because the conflict is so real. 309 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:24,060 It's so great. 310 00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,820 You're like, I can't even think like that. 311 00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:26,860 It seems like treason. 312 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:29,340 It seems like the wrong thing to think. 313 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,980 I'm just asking you to think. 314 00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:32,700 I'm not asking you to make any commitments. 315 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:37,060 And so if you're feeling panicked right now, I just want you to pause. 316 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:41,300 I just want you to pause and say, hey, mind, it's OK. 317 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,460 This is just a thought experiment. 318 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:45,020 It's going to be OK. 319 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:49,780 And just talk yourself down out of that really high heart rate that's kind of evolving right 320 00:17:49,780 --> 00:17:54,980 now because you're thinking about the pieces of medicine that you don't like, that you 321 00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:57,520 can do without. 322 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,560 The next thing I want to invite you to do is go to the future. 323 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,860 So I want you to close your eyes right now. 324 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:12,620 And then I want you to transport yourself 30 to 40 years into the future. 325 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:16,500 And if you're a little bit older and you're like, I don't know about 30 or 40 years, OK, 326 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,500 just go 20. 327 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,820 Just go 25. 328 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:27,340 Go into the future and find your future self and check in with your future self. 329 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:32,020 Hey, future self, what regrets do you have? 330 00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:38,100 What do you wish that you had done differently? 331 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:41,060 And spend some time with your future self and ask that question. 332 00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:46,100 Hey, future self, what regrets do you have? 333 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:49,860 And really listen because your future self has something to tell you. 334 00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:54,760 There's a whole guided meditation that you do to get to your future self that really 335 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,600 is kind of outside of the scope of the podcast. 336 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,860 And I would love to do it with you. 337 00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:04,380 Shoot me a DM, we'll get together so we can do it as you think about whether coaching 338 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:07,420 is right for you. 339 00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:11,300 But do go to your future self and ask, what regrets do you have? 340 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:15,740 And listen, listen to what your future self tells you. 341 00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:18,620 Because I have to tell you that there are some of the things that are so high on your 342 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,860 priority list right now. 343 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,360 Some of the things you're doing right now that are working you into the ground. 344 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:28,560 So many things you're doing right now that are making you sick. 345 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:34,980 Your future self is going to say, I regret investing so much time in doing all of that 346 00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:35,980 stuff. 347 00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:40,660 And it's really important you check in about regrets. 348 00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:45,880 Because number seven is for you to come back to the present, come back to today and do 349 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,420 something about it. 350 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,460 Do something about it. 351 00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:54,500 And the reason it's important to do something about it is because if you do not do something 352 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:58,300 about it, nobody else will. 353 00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,300 We're better or for worse. 354 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:03,900 We have a culture in medicine where everybody assumes that everybody else is doing well. 355 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:08,460 And everybody assumes that somebody else's responsibility, it's your responsibility 356 00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:09,460 to take care of yourself. 357 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,780 Your responsibility to say if you're not feeling well. 358 00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:14,120 Your responsibility to take the help that you need. 359 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,520 Your responsibility to do all these things. 360 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,140 And I agree, you are responsible. 361 00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:21,780 I think we need to support each other more than that. 362 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:25,940 Where if we see someone in trouble, we're like, hey, you look like you're in trouble. 363 00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:29,780 I need to help you get the intervention you need. 364 00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,620 We really do need that kind of culture where we're looking out for each other. 365 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,980 But that's not what we are. 366 00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:40,500 We're in this culture where we expect so much from ourselves and from each other that we're 367 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:43,260 not asking, hey, are you okay? 368 00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,660 Are you well? 369 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,660 Are you safe? 370 00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:48,500 We're not asking those questions. 371 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:55,900 And so until the culture changes, and I don't know if it ever changes, you have a responsibility 372 00:20:55,900 --> 00:21:00,820 to yourself to do something about the things that are not allowing you to be healthy, no 373 00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:02,780 matter what they are. 374 00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:04,500 And yes, people are going to look at you funny. 375 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:09,860 And yes, people are going to say, well, you know, clearly you don't have what it takes. 376 00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:13,540 Because in medicine, unfortunately, we do that. 377 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:19,460 But I'm inviting you, I'm inviting you to be countercultural, to stop and think about 378 00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:24,380 yourself, to stop and think about your health, to stop and think about the regrets you're 379 00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:28,460 going to have with the life that you may be living right now. 380 00:21:28,460 --> 00:21:32,100 And ask yourself, how can I do things differently? 381 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:35,180 And I do want to acknowledge that this is a hard question. 382 00:21:35,180 --> 00:21:38,460 And I do want to acknowledge that it takes time to come to the right answer. 383 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,940 It is not always straightforward. 384 00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:44,820 It is not even as easy as quitting your job because there's so much, so much wrapped up 385 00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:45,820 in that. 386 00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:49,620 It's not even as easy as saying, well, I'm not going to do these things anymore. 387 00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:53,460 There is so much, so much involved in it. 388 00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:56,540 And so to be honest, you're going to need to get help. 389 00:21:56,540 --> 00:22:00,740 And some of that help is going to come from being in community with other people who are 390 00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:07,300 thinking like you are, as to how can I live and enjoy the parts of my job that I enjoy 391 00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:12,140 and still be healthy in the process? 392 00:22:12,140 --> 00:22:14,060 Because we can do this career. 393 00:22:14,060 --> 00:22:18,420 We can do this career in a way that's healthy, in a way that's consistent with our values. 394 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:22,060 We can do this career. 395 00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:27,580 And I don't want you to buy the lie that it can only be done at like a fast, super fast 396 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:31,900 pace where you're either all in or you're just nothing. 397 00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:32,900 Don't believe that lie. 398 00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,900 It's not true. 399 00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:39,500 But I'm inviting you to return to the present and do something about it because if you don't 400 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:43,340 do something about it, if you don't do something about your experience, nobody else is going 401 00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:46,340 to do that for you. 402 00:22:46,340 --> 00:22:48,780 Okay. 403 00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,580 That's number seven. 404 00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:52,500 So seven things that I talked about. 405 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,220 Number one, pause. 406 00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:57,340 Number two, spend time in deep, honest introspection. 407 00:22:57,340 --> 00:23:00,900 Number three, ask yourself, is this the life I want for myself? 408 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,620 Number four, find out what pieces you actually want to keep. 409 00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:07,500 Number five, what pieces can you do without? 410 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:12,540 Number six, go forward into the future, 20, 30, 40 years from now, and meet with your 411 00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:14,820 future self and check in about your regrets. 412 00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:17,920 And then number seven, come back to the present. 413 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,340 Do something about it because if you don't do something about it, nobody else will. 414 00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:23,340 All right. 415 00:23:23,340 --> 00:23:25,060 I'm inviting you to health. 416 00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:26,660 I'm inviting you to wealth. 417 00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:28,540 I'm inviting you to joy. 418 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:33,700 I'm inviting you to a career that you love that serves you and is healthy and does not 419 00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:38,380 lead you off the cliff, that does not lead you off the deep end, that does not allow 420 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:40,380 you to crash. 421 00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:43,340 I'm inviting you to think differently about your career. 422 00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:48,460 And I'm inviting you to forward this to somebody else who needs to hear this, who needs to 423 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:53,580 be encouraged that it is okay to take time out and make a decision about how you want 424 00:23:53,580 --> 00:23:56,500 your career to be from this day forward. 425 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,620 It doesn't have to remain the same. 426 00:23:58,620 --> 00:24:04,420 And so please share it with someone who needs to hear this because we got to save more lives. 427 00:24:04,420 --> 00:24:06,300 More physician lives need saving. 428 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:10,180 And yes, we hear about the people who don't make it. 429 00:24:10,180 --> 00:24:12,380 We hear about our colleagues who've died. 430 00:24:12,380 --> 00:24:18,280 But what we don't hear about is our colleagues whose lives are like totally wrecked because 431 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,420 they didn't make changes, whose health is wrecked. 432 00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:24,900 We don't hear about that as often. 433 00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:29,420 And so I just invite you, you know, someone who needs, who needs to pick me up, who needs 434 00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:33,700 encouragement today, and then making the right choice and rethinking the way they do their 435 00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:36,900 career and maybe that person is you. 436 00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:42,420 I just invite you to just invite others into the space of deep introspection and reflection 437 00:24:42,420 --> 00:24:46,340 about what a healthy career looks like and what steps you can take to get there. 438 00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:47,340 All right. 439 00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:48,340 It's been a pleasure talking with you today. 440 00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:49,340 Thank you so much. 441 00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:50,340 Have a great day. 442 00:24:50,340 --> 00:25:00,700 I'll talk to you again the next time. 443 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:06,060 Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast, where academic 444 00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:11,780 clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they 445 00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:12,820 have a mentor. 446 00:25:12,820 --> 00:25:18,940 If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself. 447 00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:20,660 Someone else needs to hear it. 448 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:24,720 So take a minute right now and share it. 449 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:30,180 As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation 450 00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:36,300 of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.