Nov. 20, 2023
What to do if you hate your job
So you hate your job. Now what? In this episode, we discuss how to address dissatisfaction at work.
Key Points Discussed:
- The importance of owning your dissatisfaction.
- The power of making informed choices.
- Crucial questions to narrow down the specific cause of the dissatisfaction.
- The importance of investigating possibilities.
- The importance of negotiating for change, whether within the current job or considering a transition.
Links and Resources Mentioned:
Call to Action:
Take a moment to reflect on your job satisfaction. Consider the actionable steps you can take to make a positive change in your professional life.
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills
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to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.
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When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find
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that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research
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program.
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Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.
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However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.
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For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians
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the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.
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I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure to be talking with you today.
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I'm especially excited to be talking with you about today's topic.
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What to do if you don't like your job?
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Maybe raise your hands if there are parts of your job that you hate.
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Yep.
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Raise your hand if you just hate all of it.
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Yep, that was me.
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That was me when I first started.
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I hated my job.
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I was so miserable.
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And I remember, you know how you put on a brave face for everybody, and you're like,
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oh yeah, it's going great.
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And they're like, oh, how's work?
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Because you know, your family never really knows what you do.
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They're like, yeah, I know my kid is a physician, but I don't really know what she does.
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I don't know.
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My daughter is a physician.
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I'm not sure what she does exactly.
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I guess she takes care of people.
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They have no idea all the facets of your job.
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So when they ask you how are things going, the only thing you really say is, of course,
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it's going great.
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Well, at least for me.
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And it's not because I was telling a lie.
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It was just because, you know, you know what?
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It's too hard to go into why, what doesn't work, you know.
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But the people who know you know you.
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And they can tell.
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They can tell when you're miserable in your job.
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So that was my experience.
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I had a so I went to an event and one of my really great friends was there.
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And I remember she had an opportunity.
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So it's one of those things where, you know, you're you turn around and you say something
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or you encourage the person beside you.
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One of the ways she encouraged me, she was like, I know you hate your job.
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And I was like, is it so obvious?
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Is it so obvious?
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But in reality, I was miserable.
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And the people who care about you, they can tell when you are not happy.
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And I remember thinking as she was just encouraging me, I was like, is it so obvious?
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That I hate what I'm doing because she was actually wishing me a new job.
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And what's interesting is that I didn't get that new job.
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I actually actually to some extent, I did.
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I mean, I'm still in the same job, but I love my job today.
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And I love my job not because I changed it, but because I changed.
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And with me changing, I changed my job circumstance.
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And so that's some of what I want to talk to you about today is that just because it
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is horrible doesn't mean it has to stay horrible.
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And I just want to invite you to think about what to do if you don't like your job.
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Whatever part of it you don't like.
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Maybe you're like me down now.
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You're like, oh, I love the whole job.
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I love my job.
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I really do.
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I enjoy it very much today.
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But maybe like most people, you hate it.
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You're like, no, I hate this job.
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Or maybe you hate it 40% of the time or maybe just 10% of the time.
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I think most people will fall into the category of, I hate what I'm doing.
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So the first thing I want to tell you is to relax.
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Just relax.
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There are so many people like you.
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This is a common problem.
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There is no problem of hating your job that nobody has had before you.
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This is good.
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You are in great company.
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And some of you may be thinking, wait a minute, why is this a good problem?
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So everybody has problems.
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I should be happy about that.
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No, I'm just saying relax.
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Like, you know how it is when you have a problem and then you look around and nobody else has
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the same problem and you're like, wow, it's just me.
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I have problems.
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So that's what I'm saying.
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I'm saying that this is not a you problem.
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This is a many people problem.
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And so you are normal.
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You are absolutely normal.
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So I want you to pause and say to yourself, I am normal.
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Oh, oh, I didn't hear you say it.
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Say it again.
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I am normal.
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Thank you.
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Great.
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I am normal.
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There's so many people who don't like what they do.
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And I want you to relax because you're in good company.
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And that's number one, relax.
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Don't let it stress you out.
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Don't be anxious about it.
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Don't hate yourself and don't be ashamed.
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Please, I want to actually pause on this and say, don't be ashamed, because that's the
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problem.
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When we think that we have a problem that nobody else has, sometimes there's shame that
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comes with that.
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And to some extent, there's fear as well.
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It's like, oh, what's wrong with me?
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Why aren't I better?
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How come I can't get it together?
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And I want to tell you that the shame is a lie.
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If so many people have the same problem, then it's not something to be ashamed about.
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It's something for us to come together and encourage one another and then to come together
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also and have compassion on each other.
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And so don't be ashamed.
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Don't feel like you've done something wrong.
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Don't feel like you made the wrong choice.
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Don't feel like, oh, I didn't negotiate if I was a better negotiator.
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It's not you.
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It's OK.
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It's the way it is.
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And so that's the first thing I want you to know is just to relax.
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Don't be stressed about it.
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Don't get anxious about it.
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First of all, just chill.
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One of the reasons you need to chill is that not much good comes out of being anxious and
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stressed.
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Like you're tense.
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You're like blaming yourself.
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Not much will come out of that.
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And so you might as well just let it go.
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So number one is to relax.
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Number two is to celebrate.
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You got to celebrate because the mere fact that you recognize that you hate your job
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means that change can come.
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It's that you are poised to make a change happen.
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Here's the thing.
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When you hate your job, but you've never said it out loud, you've never said, I hate this
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thing, you're living in denial.
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And as long as you have not acknowledged the thing that's true, as long as the elephant
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in the room is just hanging out with nobody saying, hey, there's an elephant.
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Does it belong here?
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The elephant can keep going.
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The problem can keep going forever and ever as long as everybody's just playing it cool
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and saying, OK, this is not real.
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Everybody, this is a lie.
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It's not real.
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But the moment you stop and say, this is a problem, oh my goodness.
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And you know you're a physician.
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This is real.
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And if they're just trying to quit smoking or they're trying to quit substance use disorder,
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the first step in getting free is saying, I have a problem.
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And so the moment you acknowledge that you hate what you do, to whatever extent you hate
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it, that is already something to celebrate because you have owned the problem.
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And because you've owned the problem, you now have power to make a decision about how
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that problem comes to an end.
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And so it is so amazing to be where you are right now in the place of realization, in
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the place of recognition.
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And so I want to invite you to celebrate.
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I don't know what you do.
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Sometimes I'll dance a jig or I'll jump up and I celebrate by dancing.
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I'm celebrating for you right now.
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And please don't look at me like I'm crazy or listen and think, is she OK?
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I'm telling her I hate my job.
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And she's like, go celebrate.
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But I really am.
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Because we are at the point, we're on the cusp of major breakthrough because you've
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acknowledged that you hate this thing.
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So what are we going to do about it?
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All right.
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That's number three.
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Number three is choose.
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So what do you want to do about it?
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You've come to this place where you now finally accept, you realized it for a long time, but
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you finally accepted.
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You finally verbalized your hatred for this thing, whether it's your whole job or just
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pieces of it.
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You finally, you finally figured it out.
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So what do you want to do about it?
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And this is a really important point.
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And I just want to pause because this is the point at which people go back.
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They take a step back and say, you know what?
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I'm just going to go back and pretend.
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I'm going to go back and pretend this doesn't exist, that I don't hate this job.
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I'm just going to keep going.
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And that's choice.
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That's a choice.
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And that may be the choice you make, the choice of going back to the place of denial.
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I hope you will make a different choice, but the choice is yours.
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But the first thing is that you're going to choose.
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You're either going to choose to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist,
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or you're going to choose to do something about it.
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But the choice is yours.
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Maybe we'll make that choice for you.
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Some people are like, well, my mentor will help me.
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Maybe and maybe not.
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But we're not going to let it depend on somebody else.
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What do you want to do about it?
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Some of you are like, okay, well, it'll just work itself out.
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And you know what?
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Maybe it will, but maybe it won't.
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Many things don't work themselves out.
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Many things actually get worse.
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And until you choose that it's going to be different, it cannot be different.
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Until you choose to do something differently, you will always get the same result.
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And so what do you want to choose?
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How do you want to move forward now that you've come to the realization that there is something
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in your job that you don't like?
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What do you want to do about it?
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And I think it's so important for you to honor your role as the decision maker.
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And one challenge that comes to us, especially as a gift from our training, is that we can
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outsource decision making.
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We can outsource decision making to the attending.
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We can outsource decision making to the mentor.
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We can outsource decision making to many people.
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Oh, the medical director says we should do X. Therefore, that's what we do.
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In medicine, there's so many opportunities for outsourcing.
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And you can outsource the decision to someone else.
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You can't guarantee what decision they'll make.
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And most likely, they're just going to keep doing what's already happening.
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And so you're maintaining the status quo by outsourcing the decision.
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But the decision is yours.
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And I want you to choose to do something differently.
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I want you to choose to do something differently.
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I'm going to pause here and remind you that we have a webinar today at 6 p.m., about five
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steps to transition from clinician to research leader.
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And because it's happening today and this episode is happening today, you may miss it
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if you catch the episode late.
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I just want to invite you to still come and check out our next webinar, because I will
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be doing more than one webinar.
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And so if you've missed the webinar on November 20th, you should definitely check out the
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next webinar.
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And you can find that out by looking at our website, clinicianresearcherpodcast.com, or
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checking out the COAG Coach website.
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That's COAG, C-O-A-G, C-O-A-C-H dot com.
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And then if you go to our events tab, you'll see what the next webinar is.
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Anyway, so I just want to invite you to choose something different.
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And if you're not sure what to choose, go where people are talking about making different
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choices and see if any of those choices are choices you want to make.
243
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,680
But definitely don't choose to go back to a life of denial.
244
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Don't choose to going back to continuing the work you hate.
245
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And don't choose to just, you know, give it all up and say, you know what, medicine was
246
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never for me in the first place.
247
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And that brings me to number four.
248
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Number four is to ask questions.
249
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Now, if you are in the place where you 100% hate your job, it took you a while to get
250
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there.
251
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,200
You did not first start out by hating, right?
252
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You actually kind of started out in love with your job because it's the only reason you
253
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,720
chose it.
254
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:30,040
Ooh, or maybe you chose it out of obligation, I'm not sure.
255
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,040
But what do you actually not like about the job?
256
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,720
Is it absolutely everything?
257
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:40,240
And sometimes the pain of how we feel about our jobs is such that it just overwhelms everything.
258
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,920
We're like, well, you know, I just hate everything.
259
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,960
And you know, it just it is what it is.
260
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In reality, there's sometimes one thing that's driving the hatred.
261
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,760
And so honestly, it does behoove you.
262
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Oh, gosh, I use that word.
263
00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:00,000
But it does behoove you to stop and say, what is it that I hate?
264
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000
What's this thing?
265
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:08,960
When you have a splinter in your finger and it hurts so much, it's important to acknowledge
266
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the splinter and to take it out because it's the splinter that's the problem.
267
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:17,160
Yeah, everything you touch hurts because of the splinter that's making your hand throb.
268
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And so you can be like, I hate that.
269
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It hurts me.
270
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I hate that.
271
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:21,580
It hurts me.
272
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:22,580
But in reality, it's the splinter.
273
00:13:22,580 --> 00:13:26,320
And if you could just address this one splinter, everything goes back to where it needs to
274
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go.
275
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What are you going to address the splinter?
276
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And so that's a question I'm asking.
277
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What do you hate?
278
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And don't tell me I hate everything, because I doubt that's true.
279
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,960
For most people, it's not true.
280
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:44,060
There is a one thing that if you could just fix, there is a one thing that if you could
281
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:47,120
just fix, everything would be better.
282
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,240
And so what is it about the job that you don't like?
283
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,840
What is it about the job that you don't like?
284
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,880
I remember a story and this happened to me, true story yesterday.
285
00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:00,840
I was on the plane and somebody leaned back in their seat while I was typing on my computer.
286
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,040
I'm working on a manuscript, trying to get it out the door.
287
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,600
And this person just leans back.
288
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,400
So the first thing that happens is my computer kind of goes flying forward.
289
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,320
And then I'm literally sitting with my computer like under my chin, you know, because their
290
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,360
seat has leaned so far back.
291
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,880
OK, so maybe if I was in first class, it wouldn't be a problem or in business class, but I wasn't.
292
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,400
And so all the space counts.
293
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,960
And so I literally turn around to this person and I'm like, excuse me, I'm not able to work
294
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,400
because you've leaned back.
295
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:33,560
And the person beside me, really, really such a wonderful, kind person, he turned around
296
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,560
to me.
297
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,060
He was like, you know what, your table can come forward and your seat can lean back too.
298
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:42,880
And that was so important because I was so focused on this is the problem and this woman
299
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,280
who caused the problem is the one who's going to fix it for me.
300
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:51,280
And as long as it depended on her, I was going to be stuck trying to convince her to turn
301
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,800
around and make it work for me.
302
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:59,200
But the moment I recognized my own power to change the way my computer was and to lean
303
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:04,040
back in my own seat to wow, what a world of difference it made.
304
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:09,400
And so the things that we don't like, sometimes we feel paralyzed to move forward in changing
305
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:15,440
them because if only my division chief would make the change, if only my mentor would change.
306
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,720
And in reality, they can do whatever they want.
307
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,640
What do you want to do?
308
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:26,120
And so the first step to deciding that is asking, what is it about the job that you
309
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,120
don't like?
310
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,960
What is a thing that you want to change?
311
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,480
Okay.
312
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,640
The next thing is to travel back in time.
313
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,960
Go back to the place of your first love for this job.
314
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,880
You did not start by hating this job.
315
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,300
There was something about it that made you say yes.
316
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:49,600
You said yes because there was something about this job that you loved.
317
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,780
What was it?
318
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:52,600
You got to go back to that place.
319
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,600
What was it?
320
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,400
What was the love at first sight?
321
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,800
What was the thing you're like, you know what, this is what I want.
322
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,040
I'll take all the other stuff because of what I want.
323
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:06,100
And that's so important because as physicians, we're so used to living in the place of obligation
324
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,100
that we'll just take everything.
325
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,400
We're like, yeah, I have to do it.
326
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,880
I guess I'll do it.
327
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,680
But yeah, this is where it takes you.
328
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,600
It takes you to the place of burnout.
329
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,800
60%, greater than 60% of physicians are burned out in their job.
330
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,880
That was a statistic, I believe, from 2020.
331
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,080
It's a big deal.
332
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,320
So many people are just going through the motions.
333
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,040
They're just doing whatever is necessary.
334
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:30,680
And I'm telling you that doing whatever is necessary is not what gets you to loving your
335
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:31,680
job.
336
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:32,680
It's like, what do you want to do?
337
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,360
Because the thing you want to do, people need that.
338
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,360
You want to do it.
339
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,360
People need you to do it.
340
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,720
So this is not like if I leave all the stuff I'm obligated to do, nobody will do it.
341
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,720
Oh, I will tell you.
342
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,240
People will jump and doing all the things you leave behind because for some other people,
343
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,600
the thing that hurts you is the thing that makes them thrive.
344
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,720
So stop feeling guilty that, oh my gosh, who's going to do the work?
345
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:59,040
There are people waiting for you to get off so that they can come on and shine.
346
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:03,920
And so you are there, like, hating what you're doing, living with drudgery, and people are
347
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:09,080
just waiting for you to move out of the way so they can do it with joy.
348
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:15,600
And so yes, please give yourself permission to go back to the place of your first love
349
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:19,560
because that's the thing that you want to hold on to.
350
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,860
And it may be, it may be that you say, I'm quitting this job.
351
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:23,860
That's okay.
352
00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:28,560
But you want to know the thing that you love because whether you stay in the job or you
353
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,200
move somewhere else, you're going to want to expand the thing you love.
354
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,040
You're going to need to do that no matter where you are.
355
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,840
What is it that you liked about the job in the first place?
356
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,840
Remember that.
357
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,880
Hold on to that.
358
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,920
The next thing you want to do, number six, is investigate.
359
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,200
What can you do about it?
360
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,800
Okay, we've come to the point of realization, we've decided we're going to choose to make
361
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,880
a difference.
362
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,560
We're not waiting for our mentor to tell us what to do.
363
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:55,840
What can you do?
364
00:17:55,840 --> 00:18:00,920
Okay, I hate seeing patients with this particular diagnosis.
365
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,400
Maybe your thing is fibromyalgia.
366
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,440
You're like, I hate fibromyalgia.
367
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,680
And again, please, if you're listening and you have fibromyalgia, this is not, I'm just
368
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,680
using an example.
369
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,440
Okay, this is not about you.
370
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,920
It's not about fibromyalgia.
371
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,540
It's just about an example.
372
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:17,240
Today you're like, I don't want to see anybody in clinic anymore who has fibromyalgia.
373
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,320
Well, what can you do about it?
374
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,360
Who can you talk to?
375
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,600
Who's in charge of your schedule?
376
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,980
Spoiler alert, you are.
377
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:30,080
But who's putting these patients on your schedule?
378
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,480
And what conversations can you have?
379
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,160
What will people do with requests?
380
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,160
So find out.
381
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,120
This is an investigation time.
382
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,560
Sometimes we just don't know.
383
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,560
Like, oh, they'll never let me do it.
384
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,080
But who did you ask?
385
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,840
Did you make that assumption?
386
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:46,840
Wow.
387
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:51,520
The number of assumptions that we live with, the number of decisions we make that are based
388
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,120
on faulty information is incredible.
389
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,480
You don't know if you don't ask.
390
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,960
So if you've never asked, you actually don't know.
391
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:03,400
So this is not like, oh, my division chief will never let me stop seeing fibromyalgia.
392
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,280
Like, when did you ask that question?
393
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,400
And if you haven't asked, it's an invitation to ask.
394
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,520
And you're asking not necessarily because you're ready to make the ask or you're not
395
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,240
necessarily ready to say, this is what I want.
396
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,880
You're asking first for information.
397
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:24,400
And I just want to remind you, as a clinician who sees patients, if you're going to help
398
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,360
anybody, you first of all always start by asking.
399
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:31,620
Like, has there ever been a time someone shows up and you're like, oh, OK, it must be hypertension.
400
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:32,920
I won't take your blood pressure.
401
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,960
You start by asking.
402
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,800
The only way you can help is by asking questions.
403
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,200
And so I'm going to invite you to ask questions.
404
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,600
What do you need to know to decide?
405
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,840
And some people are quitting jobs without finding out whether they can remake their
406
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,840
jobs.
407
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,440
And that was what happened for me.
408
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,720
I stayed in the same place.
409
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,160
I remade my job.
410
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,760
Actually, I've remade it many times over.
411
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,160
I'm continuing to remake it.
412
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,160
And guess what?
413
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,080
I'm going to remake it again because you can do that.
414
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,680
But you find out, like, what is possible here?
415
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,760
You ask people.
416
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,760
You go check.
417
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:12,780
You go check it out and find out the information you need so that you can come to an informed
418
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,440
decision.
419
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,880
And number seven is to negotiate.
420
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,800
So sometimes people just say, I quit.
421
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,120
And they go elsewhere.
422
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,120
And it's OK.
423
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,120
You can quit.
424
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,200
Quit any time you want.
425
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,160
But don't quit because things are hard.
426
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,120
Quit because you're strategically quitting.
427
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,960
It's like this is a strategic decision to quit.
428
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,200
Not I just quit because it's too hard.
429
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,960
Don't do that.
430
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,960
Negotiate.
431
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,960
Even if you're quitting, even if you're leaving the place where you are, negotiate while you're
432
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,960
still there.
433
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,640
It may be like, oh, I've given my two weeks notice.
434
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,800
Well, negotiate so that you can enjoy your last two weeks.
435
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,840
And even if you're like, well, in another year, I'll be leaving, well, negotiate so
436
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,000
you can enjoy your last year.
437
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,800
Whatever you do, it is time to negotiate.
438
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,520
What does it mean?
439
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,400
What do I mean by negotiate?
440
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:00,780
What I mean is now that you've clarified what you want and investigated what you can do
441
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:03,680
about it, well, go see what can be done.
442
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,680
Just go see.
443
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,680
Go ask questions.
444
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,520
Go say, hey, I heard that I don't have to see fibromyalgia.
445
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,520
I heard that I can choose what I see in my clinic.
446
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:18,680
How can I work with a scheduler so that fibromyalgia is no longer added to my panel?
447
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:19,680
And you know what?
448
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,580
Until you do that, you won't find out that someone has been doing a study and they're
449
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,920
trying to gather all the patients with fibromyalgia.
450
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,920
And they are so happy to take them off of you.
451
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,240
Imagine that.
452
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,440
You've been holding them back from their success because you've been so afraid to ask or to
453
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,400
negotiate.
454
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,300
And so I invite you to negotiate.
455
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:40,560
And if you don't know how, don't tell me you don't know how because you do.
456
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,560
I see you.
457
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,960
I know you negotiate for your patients pretty consistently.
458
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:49,200
But if you're afraid to, you don't feel like you know how, you should reach out to a friend.
459
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,360
You should reach out to me.
460
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,280
And I can give you some pointers, but it's not just me.
461
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,800
There are many people who are going to help you.
462
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,280
But just don't stay stuck.
463
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,520
Don't stay stuck in a job you hate.
464
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,560
Don't stay stuck in a situation you don't want.
465
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,560
Don't do it.
466
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,520
Because, because we need you.
467
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,160
We need you to thrive.
468
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:11,440
We need you to thrive because as you are, if we're your patients, if you thrive, oh,
469
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,700
it makes her such a more enjoyable experience.
470
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:20,060
If we're your colleagues, if you thrive, it makes her such an enjoyable experience.
471
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:25,340
If we're your bosses and you thrive, it makes our job so much easier.
472
00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:31,080
So in reality, when you choose to do something about the fact that you hate your job, you're
473
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,160
doing it not just for you, you're doing it for everybody around you.
474
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:40,480
And so if it's too hard to motivate yourself on the basis of, oh, well, it's selfish, just,
475
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,920
you know what, motivate yourself on the basis of the fact that we need you to be at your
476
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,280
best because we hate being around you.
477
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,480
You're so miserable.
478
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,400
Yeah, that's kind of strong.
479
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,760
But can I just be honest with you?
480
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:52,760
You're miserable.
481
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,800
And we can tell.
482
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:55,800
I was miserable.
483
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,800
My friend could tell.
484
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,920
I thought nobody could tell, but they could tell.
485
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,880
Because when you're miserable, people can feel it.
486
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,720
Your kids can feel it.
487
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You're yelling at them not because you hate them, but because you hate you or you hate
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your environment.
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But maybe it's your significant other and the way you're not as kind and courteous as
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you used to be just because you're living with this pain of the job that you're in.
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And so do it.
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You don't do it for you.
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Do it for the rest of us, the rest of us who need you at your healthiest, at your best.
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Do it because it serves you and it serves them.
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Do it because it serves us.
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All right.
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It's been a pleasure talking with you today.
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Somebody else needs to hear this.
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You know, 60% of us are out there hating our jobs.
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And so please forward this to just one person today who's told you in the last week, I hate
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my job.
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Forward this to just one person.
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And for you, it's time.
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It's time to make a decision.
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It's time to act.
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It's time to stop living in a situation you hate and to start to ask, how can I make it
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exactly what I want?
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I want to thank you for listening to me today.
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I look forward to talking with you again the next time.
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Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast where academic
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clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they
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have a mentor.
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If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.
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Someone else needs to hear it.
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So take a minute right now and share it.
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As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation
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of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,860
Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills
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to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.
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When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find
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that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research
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program.
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Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.
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However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.
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For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians
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the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.
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I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure to be talking with you today.
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I'm especially excited to be talking with you about today's topic.
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What to do if you don't like your job?
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Maybe raise your hands if there are parts of your job that you hate.
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Yep.
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Raise your hand if you just hate all of it.
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Yep, that was me.
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That was me when I first started.
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I hated my job.
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I was so miserable.
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And I remember, you know how you put on a brave face for everybody, and you're like,
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oh yeah, it's going great.
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And they're like, oh, how's work?
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Because you know, your family never really knows what you do.
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They're like, yeah, I know my kid is a physician, but I don't really know what she does.
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I don't know.
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My daughter is a physician.
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I'm not sure what she does exactly.
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I guess she takes care of people.
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They have no idea all the facets of your job.
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So when they ask you how are things going, the only thing you really say is, of course,
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it's going great.
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Well, at least for me.
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And it's not because I was telling a lie.
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It was just because, you know, you know what?
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It's too hard to go into why, what doesn't work, you know.
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But the people who know you know you.
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And they can tell.
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They can tell when you're miserable in your job.
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So that was my experience.
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I had a so I went to an event and one of my really great friends was there.
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And I remember she had an opportunity.
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So it's one of those things where, you know, you're you turn around and you say something
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or you encourage the person beside you.
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One of the ways she encouraged me, she was like, I know you hate your job.
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And I was like, is it so obvious?
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Is it so obvious?
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But in reality, I was miserable.
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And the people who care about you, they can tell when you are not happy.
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And I remember thinking as she was just encouraging me, I was like, is it so obvious?
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That I hate what I'm doing because she was actually wishing me a new job.
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And what's interesting is that I didn't get that new job.
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I actually actually to some extent, I did.
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I mean, I'm still in the same job, but I love my job today.
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And I love my job not because I changed it, but because I changed.
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And with me changing, I changed my job circumstance.
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And so that's some of what I want to talk to you about today is that just because it
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is horrible doesn't mean it has to stay horrible.
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And I just want to invite you to think about what to do if you don't like your job.
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Whatever part of it you don't like.
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Maybe you're like me down now.
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You're like, oh, I love the whole job.
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I love my job.
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I really do.
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I enjoy it very much today.
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But maybe like most people, you hate it.
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You're like, no, I hate this job.
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Or maybe you hate it 40% of the time or maybe just 10% of the time.
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I think most people will fall into the category of, I hate what I'm doing.
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So the first thing I want to tell you is to relax.
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Just relax.
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There are so many people like you.
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This is a common problem.
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There is no problem of hating your job that nobody has had before you.
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This is good.
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You are in great company.
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And some of you may be thinking, wait a minute, why is this a good problem?
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So everybody has problems.
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I should be happy about that.
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No, I'm just saying relax.
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Like, you know how it is when you have a problem and then you look around and nobody else has
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the same problem and you're like, wow, it's just me.
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I have problems.
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So that's what I'm saying.
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I'm saying that this is not a you problem.
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This is a many people problem.
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And so you are normal.
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You are absolutely normal.
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So I want you to pause and say to yourself, I am normal.
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Oh, oh, I didn't hear you say it.
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Say it again.
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I am normal.
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Thank you.
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Great.
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I am normal.
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There's so many people who don't like what they do.
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And I want you to relax because you're in good company.
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And that's number one, relax.
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Don't let it stress you out.
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Don't be anxious about it.
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Don't hate yourself and don't be ashamed.
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Please, I want to actually pause on this and say, don't be ashamed, because that's the
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problem.
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When we think that we have a problem that nobody else has, sometimes there's shame that
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comes with that.
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And to some extent, there's fear as well.
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It's like, oh, what's wrong with me?
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Why aren't I better?
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How come I can't get it together?
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And I want to tell you that the shame is a lie.
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If so many people have the same problem, then it's not something to be ashamed about.
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It's something for us to come together and encourage one another and then to come together
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also and have compassion on each other.
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And so don't be ashamed.
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Don't feel like you've done something wrong.
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Don't feel like you made the wrong choice.
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Don't feel like, oh, I didn't negotiate if I was a better negotiator.
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It's not you.
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It's OK.
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It's the way it is.
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And so that's the first thing I want you to know is just to relax.
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Don't be stressed about it.
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Don't get anxious about it.
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First of all, just chill.
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One of the reasons you need to chill is that not much good comes out of being anxious and
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stressed.
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Like you're tense.
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You're like blaming yourself.
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Not much will come out of that.
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And so you might as well just let it go.
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So number one is to relax.
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Number two is to celebrate.
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You got to celebrate because the mere fact that you recognize that you hate your job
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means that change can come.
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It's that you are poised to make a change happen.
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Here's the thing.
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When you hate your job, but you've never said it out loud, you've never said, I hate this
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thing, you're living in denial.
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And as long as you have not acknowledged the thing that's true, as long as the elephant
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in the room is just hanging out with nobody saying, hey, there's an elephant.
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Does it belong here?
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The elephant can keep going.
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The problem can keep going forever and ever as long as everybody's just playing it cool
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and saying, OK, this is not real.
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Everybody, this is a lie.
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It's not real.
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But the moment you stop and say, this is a problem, oh my goodness.
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And you know you're a physician.
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This is real.
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And if they're just trying to quit smoking or they're trying to quit substance use disorder,
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the first step in getting free is saying, I have a problem.
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And so the moment you acknowledge that you hate what you do, to whatever extent you hate
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it, that is already something to celebrate because you have owned the problem.
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And because you've owned the problem, you now have power to make a decision about how
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that problem comes to an end.
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And so it is so amazing to be where you are right now in the place of realization, in
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the place of recognition.
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And so I want to invite you to celebrate.
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I don't know what you do.
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Sometimes I'll dance a jig or I'll jump up and I celebrate by dancing.
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I'm celebrating for you right now.
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And please don't look at me like I'm crazy or listen and think, is she OK?
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I'm telling her I hate my job.
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And she's like, go celebrate.
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But I really am.
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Because we are at the point, we're on the cusp of major breakthrough because you've
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acknowledged that you hate this thing.
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So what are we going to do about it?
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All right.
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That's number three.
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Number three is choose.
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So what do you want to do about it?
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You've come to this place where you now finally accept, you realized it for a long time, but
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you finally accepted.
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You finally verbalized your hatred for this thing, whether it's your whole job or just
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pieces of it.
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You finally, you finally figured it out.
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So what do you want to do about it?
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And this is a really important point.
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And I just want to pause because this is the point at which people go back.
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They take a step back and say, you know what?
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I'm just going to go back and pretend.
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I'm going to go back and pretend this doesn't exist, that I don't hate this job.
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I'm just going to keep going.
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And that's choice.
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That's a choice.
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And that may be the choice you make, the choice of going back to the place of denial.
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I hope you will make a different choice, but the choice is yours.
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But the first thing is that you're going to choose.
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You're either going to choose to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist,
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or you're going to choose to do something about it.
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But the choice is yours.
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Maybe we'll make that choice for you.
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Some people are like, well, my mentor will help me.
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Maybe and maybe not.
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But we're not going to let it depend on somebody else.
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What do you want to do about it?
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Some of you are like, okay, well, it'll just work itself out.
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And you know what?
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Maybe it will, but maybe it won't.
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Many things don't work themselves out.
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Many things actually get worse.
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And until you choose that it's going to be different, it cannot be different.
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Until you choose to do something differently, you will always get the same result.
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And so what do you want to choose?
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How do you want to move forward now that you've come to the realization that there is something
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in your job that you don't like?
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What do you want to do about it?
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And I think it's so important for you to honor your role as the decision maker.
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And one challenge that comes to us, especially as a gift from our training, is that we can
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outsource decision making.
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We can outsource decision making to the attending.
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We can outsource decision making to the mentor.
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We can outsource decision making to many people.
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Oh, the medical director says we should do X. Therefore, that's what we do.
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In medicine, there's so many opportunities for outsourcing.
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And you can outsource the decision to someone else.
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You can't guarantee what decision they'll make.
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And most likely, they're just going to keep doing what's already happening.
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And so you're maintaining the status quo by outsourcing the decision.
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But the decision is yours.
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And I want you to choose to do something differently.
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I want you to choose to do something differently.
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I'm going to pause here and remind you that we have a webinar today at 6 p.m., about five
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steps to transition from clinician to research leader.
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And because it's happening today and this episode is happening today, you may miss it
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if you catch the episode late.
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I just want to invite you to still come and check out our next webinar, because I will
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be doing more than one webinar.
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And so if you've missed the webinar on November 20th, you should definitely check out the
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next webinar.
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And you can find that out by looking at our website, clinicianresearcherpodcast.com, or
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checking out the COAG Coach website.
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That's COAG, C-O-A-G, C-O-A-C-H dot com.
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And then if you go to our events tab, you'll see what the next webinar is.
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Anyway, so I just want to invite you to choose something different.
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And if you're not sure what to choose, go where people are talking about making different
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choices and see if any of those choices are choices you want to make.
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But definitely don't choose to go back to a life of denial.
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Don't choose to going back to continuing the work you hate.
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And don't choose to just, you know, give it all up and say, you know what, medicine was
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never for me in the first place.
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And that brings me to number four.
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Number four is to ask questions.
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Now, if you are in the place where you 100% hate your job, it took you a while to get
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there.
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You did not first start out by hating, right?
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You actually kind of started out in love with your job because it's the only reason you
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chose it.
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Ooh, or maybe you chose it out of obligation, I'm not sure.
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But what do you actually not like about the job?
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Is it absolutely everything?
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And sometimes the pain of how we feel about our jobs is such that it just overwhelms everything.
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We're like, well, you know, I just hate everything.
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And you know, it just it is what it is.
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In reality, there's sometimes one thing that's driving the hatred.
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And so honestly, it does behoove you.
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Oh, gosh, I use that word.
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But it does behoove you to stop and say, what is it that I hate?
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What's this thing?
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When you have a splinter in your finger and it hurts so much, it's important to acknowledge
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the splinter and to take it out because it's the splinter that's the problem.
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Yeah, everything you touch hurts because of the splinter that's making your hand throb.
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And so you can be like, I hate that.
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It hurts me.
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I hate that.
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It hurts me.
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But in reality, it's the splinter.
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And if you could just address this one splinter, everything goes back to where it needs to
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go.
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What are you going to address the splinter?
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And so that's a question I'm asking.
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What do you hate?
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And don't tell me I hate everything, because I doubt that's true.
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For most people, it's not true.
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There is a one thing that if you could just fix, there is a one thing that if you could
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just fix, everything would be better.
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And so what is it about the job that you don't like?
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What is it about the job that you don't like?
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I remember a story and this happened to me, true story yesterday.
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I was on the plane and somebody leaned back in their seat while I was typing on my computer.
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I'm working on a manuscript, trying to get it out the door.
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And this person just leans back.
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So the first thing that happens is my computer kind of goes flying forward.
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And then I'm literally sitting with my computer like under my chin, you know, because their
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seat has leaned so far back.
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OK, so maybe if I was in first class, it wouldn't be a problem or in business class, but I wasn't.
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And so all the space counts.
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And so I literally turn around to this person and I'm like, excuse me, I'm not able to work
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because you've leaned back.
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And the person beside me, really, really such a wonderful, kind person, he turned around
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to me.
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He was like, you know what, your table can come forward and your seat can lean back too.
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And that was so important because I was so focused on this is the problem and this woman
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who caused the problem is the one who's going to fix it for me.
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And as long as it depended on her, I was going to be stuck trying to convince her to turn
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around and make it work for me.
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But the moment I recognized my own power to change the way my computer was and to lean
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back in my own seat to wow, what a world of difference it made.
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And so the things that we don't like, sometimes we feel paralyzed to move forward in changing
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them because if only my division chief would make the change, if only my mentor would change.
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And in reality, they can do whatever they want.
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What do you want to do?
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And so the first step to deciding that is asking, what is it about the job that you
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don't like?
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What is a thing that you want to change?
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Okay.
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The next thing is to travel back in time.
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Go back to the place of your first love for this job.
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You did not start by hating this job.
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There was something about it that made you say yes.
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You said yes because there was something about this job that you loved.
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What was it?
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You got to go back to that place.
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What was it?
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What was the love at first sight?
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What was the thing you're like, you know what, this is what I want.
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I'll take all the other stuff because of what I want.
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And that's so important because as physicians, we're so used to living in the place of obligation
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that we'll just take everything.
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We're like, yeah, I have to do it.
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I guess I'll do it.
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But yeah, this is where it takes you.
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It takes you to the place of burnout.
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60%, greater than 60% of physicians are burned out in their job.
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That was a statistic, I believe, from 2020.
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It's a big deal.
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So many people are just going through the motions.
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They're just doing whatever is necessary.
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And I'm telling you that doing whatever is necessary is not what gets you to loving your
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job.
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It's like, what do you want to do?
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Because the thing you want to do, people need that.
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You want to do it.
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People need you to do it.
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So this is not like if I leave all the stuff I'm obligated to do, nobody will do it.
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Oh, I will tell you.
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People will jump and doing all the things you leave behind because for some other people,
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the thing that hurts you is the thing that makes them thrive.
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So stop feeling guilty that, oh my gosh, who's going to do the work?
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There are people waiting for you to get off so that they can come on and shine.
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And so you are there, like, hating what you're doing, living with drudgery, and people are
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just waiting for you to move out of the way so they can do it with joy.
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And so yes, please give yourself permission to go back to the place of your first love
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because that's the thing that you want to hold on to.
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And it may be, it may be that you say, I'm quitting this job.
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That's okay.
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But you want to know the thing that you love because whether you stay in the job or you
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move somewhere else, you're going to want to expand the thing you love.
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You're going to need to do that no matter where you are.
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What is it that you liked about the job in the first place?
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Remember that.
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Hold on to that.
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The next thing you want to do, number six, is investigate.
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What can you do about it?
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Okay, we've come to the point of realization, we've decided we're going to choose to make
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a difference.
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We're not waiting for our mentor to tell us what to do.
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What can you do?
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Okay, I hate seeing patients with this particular diagnosis.
365
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Maybe your thing is fibromyalgia.
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You're like, I hate fibromyalgia.
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And again, please, if you're listening and you have fibromyalgia, this is not, I'm just
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using an example.
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Okay, this is not about you.
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It's not about fibromyalgia.
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It's just about an example.
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Today you're like, I don't want to see anybody in clinic anymore who has fibromyalgia.
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Well, what can you do about it?
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Who can you talk to?
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Who's in charge of your schedule?
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Spoiler alert, you are.
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But who's putting these patients on your schedule?
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And what conversations can you have?
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What will people do with requests?
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So find out.
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This is an investigation time.
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Sometimes we just don't know.
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Like, oh, they'll never let me do it.
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But who did you ask?
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Did you make that assumption?
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Wow.
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The number of assumptions that we live with, the number of decisions we make that are based
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on faulty information is incredible.
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You don't know if you don't ask.
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So if you've never asked, you actually don't know.
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So this is not like, oh, my division chief will never let me stop seeing fibromyalgia.
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Like, when did you ask that question?
393
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,400
And if you haven't asked, it's an invitation to ask.
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And you're asking not necessarily because you're ready to make the ask or you're not
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necessarily ready to say, this is what I want.
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00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,880
You're asking first for information.
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And I just want to remind you, as a clinician who sees patients, if you're going to help
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anybody, you first of all always start by asking.
399
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:31,620
Like, has there ever been a time someone shows up and you're like, oh, OK, it must be hypertension.
400
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:32,920
I won't take your blood pressure.
401
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,960
You start by asking.
402
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,800
The only way you can help is by asking questions.
403
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,200
And so I'm going to invite you to ask questions.
404
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,600
What do you need to know to decide?
405
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,840
And some people are quitting jobs without finding out whether they can remake their
406
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,840
jobs.
407
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,440
And that was what happened for me.
408
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,720
I stayed in the same place.
409
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,160
I remade my job.
410
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,760
Actually, I've remade it many times over.
411
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,160
I'm continuing to remake it.
412
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,160
And guess what?
413
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,080
I'm going to remake it again because you can do that.
414
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,680
But you find out, like, what is possible here?
415
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,760
You ask people.
416
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,760
You go check.
417
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:12,780
You go check it out and find out the information you need so that you can come to an informed
418
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,440
decision.
419
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,880
And number seven is to negotiate.
420
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,800
So sometimes people just say, I quit.
421
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And they go elsewhere.
422
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,120
And it's OK.
423
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,120
You can quit.
424
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,200
Quit any time you want.
425
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,160
But don't quit because things are hard.
426
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Quit because you're strategically quitting.
427
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,960
It's like this is a strategic decision to quit.
428
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,200
Not I just quit because it's too hard.
429
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,960
Don't do that.
430
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,960
Negotiate.
431
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,960
Even if you're quitting, even if you're leaving the place where you are, negotiate while you're
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00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,960
still there.
433
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,640
It may be like, oh, I've given my two weeks notice.
434
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,800
Well, negotiate so that you can enjoy your last two weeks.
435
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,840
And even if you're like, well, in another year, I'll be leaving, well, negotiate so
436
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,000
you can enjoy your last year.
437
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,800
Whatever you do, it is time to negotiate.
438
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,520
What does it mean?
439
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,400
What do I mean by negotiate?
440
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:00,780
What I mean is now that you've clarified what you want and investigated what you can do
441
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:03,680
about it, well, go see what can be done.
442
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,680
Just go see.
443
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,680
Go ask questions.
444
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,520
Go say, hey, I heard that I don't have to see fibromyalgia.
445
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,520
I heard that I can choose what I see in my clinic.
446
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:18,680
How can I work with a scheduler so that fibromyalgia is no longer added to my panel?
447
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:19,680
And you know what?
448
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,580
Until you do that, you won't find out that someone has been doing a study and they're
449
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,920
trying to gather all the patients with fibromyalgia.
450
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,920
And they are so happy to take them off of you.
451
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,240
Imagine that.
452
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,440
You've been holding them back from their success because you've been so afraid to ask or to
453
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,400
negotiate.
454
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And so I invite you to negotiate.
455
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:40,560
And if you don't know how, don't tell me you don't know how because you do.
456
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,560
I see you.
457
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,960
I know you negotiate for your patients pretty consistently.
458
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:49,200
But if you're afraid to, you don't feel like you know how, you should reach out to a friend.
459
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,360
You should reach out to me.
460
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,280
And I can give you some pointers, but it's not just me.
461
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,800
There are many people who are going to help you.
462
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,280
But just don't stay stuck.
463
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,520
Don't stay stuck in a job you hate.
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00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,560
Don't stay stuck in a situation you don't want.
465
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,560
Don't do it.
466
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,520
Because, because we need you.
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00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,160
We need you to thrive.
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00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:11,440
We need you to thrive because as you are, if we're your patients, if you thrive, oh,
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00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,700
it makes her such a more enjoyable experience.
470
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:20,060
If we're your colleagues, if you thrive, it makes her such an enjoyable experience.
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00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:25,340
If we're your bosses and you thrive, it makes our job so much easier.
472
00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:31,080
So in reality, when you choose to do something about the fact that you hate your job, you're
473
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,160
doing it not just for you, you're doing it for everybody around you.
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00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:40,480
And so if it's too hard to motivate yourself on the basis of, oh, well, it's selfish, just,
475
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,920
you know what, motivate yourself on the basis of the fact that we need you to be at your
476
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,280
best because we hate being around you.
477
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,480
You're so miserable.
478
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,400
Yeah, that's kind of strong.
479
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,760
But can I just be honest with you?
480
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:52,760
You're miserable.
481
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,800
And we can tell.
482
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:55,800
I was miserable.
483
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,800
My friend could tell.
484
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,920
I thought nobody could tell, but they could tell.
485
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,880
Because when you're miserable, people can feel it.
486
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,720
Your kids can feel it.
487
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,840
You're yelling at them not because you hate them, but because you hate you or you hate
488
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:08,840
your environment.
489
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,240
But maybe it's your significant other and the way you're not as kind and courteous as
490
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:18,900
you used to be just because you're living with this pain of the job that you're in.
491
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,280
And so do it.
492
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:21,320
You don't do it for you.
493
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:26,480
Do it for the rest of us, the rest of us who need you at your healthiest, at your best.
494
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,560
Do it because it serves you and it serves them.
495
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,680
Do it because it serves us.
496
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:33,680
All right.
497
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,320
It's been a pleasure talking with you today.
498
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,840
Somebody else needs to hear this.
499
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,000
You know, 60% of us are out there hating our jobs.
500
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,480
And so please forward this to just one person today who's told you in the last week, I hate
501
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,840
my job.
502
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,360
Forward this to just one person.
503
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,080
And for you, it's time.
504
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,920
It's time to make a decision.
505
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,560
It's time to act.
506
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:02,320
It's time to stop living in a situation you hate and to start to ask, how can I make it
507
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,360
exactly what I want?
508
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,560
I want to thank you for listening to me today.
509
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:16,840
I look forward to talking with you again the next time.
510
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:22,200
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast where academic
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00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:27,920
clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they
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00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,980
have a mentor.
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00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:35,080
If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.
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00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,840
Someone else needs to hear it.
515
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,880
So take a minute right now and share it.
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00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:46,360
As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation
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00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:52,480
of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.
