When going above and beyond may not be the right thing

100:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,720Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.200:00:02,720 --> 00:00:04,280I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene,300:00:04,280 --> 00:00:06,720and it is a pleasure to be speaking with you today.400:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,680Thank you so much for tuning in.500:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,960Today, I am talking about when going above and beyond600:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,960may not be the right thing to do.700:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,720And it's an interesting, interesting episode.800:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,000I'd love to hear your thoughts at the end of it.900:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,800But before I get started, I just want to let you know1000:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,240that Clinician Researcher Academy is open for enrollment.1100:00:24,240 --> 00:00:28,520Yes, this is our weekly group coaching academy,1200:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,880and this is where we help clinicians build the habits1300:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,800that are necessary to help them succeed as researchers.1400:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,440We help shape identity.1500:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,920We help you really get the results that you want1600:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,480in being able to do research that resonates with you,1700:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,120research that resonates with you,1800:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,480and also in being able to get publications1900:00:49,480 --> 00:00:50,920and get grants submitted,2000:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,680whatever it is that you want to do2100:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,400in terms of growing your academic career.2200:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,200So excited to let you know that we are open for enrollment,2300:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,640and if you want more information,2400:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,400you can go to coagcoach.com, which is our website,2500:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,280and look for the tab Academy,2600:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,560and there's information about the Academy right there.2700:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,400All right, so I hope that you will think about joining us2800:01:08,400 --> 00:01:13,400as we help clinicians really make the transitions necessary2900:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,280to succeed as researchers.3000:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,400Okay, so going above and beyond3100:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,240is our thing as physicians, right?3200:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,720We just go the extra mile,3300:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,200and it's part of our training.3400:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,600This is not even just so much like,3500:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,760oh, we're born this way.3600:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,560It's that we've been practicing this for so long.3700:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,120It is the way we think.3800:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,040It's the way we do things.3900:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,920So when you were an undergrad4000:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,520and really trying to get into med school,4100:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,440you were kind of the overachiever4200:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,840doing all the extra stuff, the shadowing,4300:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,280the doing the extracurricular so that you could write,4400:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,000hey, look at all the stuff I did.4500:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,920Let me get into the pre-med program, right?4600:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,040So you did that.4700:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,640And then you got into med school,4800:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,920and you were the person who studied and studied and studied4900:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,200and took tests and aced the tests.5000:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,000Some of us didn't, some of us didn't.5100:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,440But you did all that, and then you became a resident.5200:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,720Oh my gosh, like how hard you worked.5300:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,440You even took overnight call.5400:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,240Then you became a fellow, and wow, you went the extra mile.5500:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,160You're staying up late.5600:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,920It's our tendency to go above and beyond.5700:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,840While we become faculty members,5800:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,960going above and beyond is not always beneficial.5900:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,280It's not.6000:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,200I would say going above and beyond is important,6100:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,400and please do that as much as you can.6200:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,800But if you try to go above and beyond in everything,6300:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,880wow, it's kind of hard.6400:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,400It's challenging.6500:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,560No wonder you're burned out.6600:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,080No wonder you feel like you wanna quit.6700:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,240The question is, what are the things you need6800:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,160to actually go above and beyond in,6900:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,080and what are the things you need to do with minimal effort?7000:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,600And it's challenging to know how to do that, right?7100:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,560It's challenging to know how to do that.7200:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,320But in fact, one of the things that I,7300:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,480a story I wanna share is just, you know,7400:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,040I just actually, I'm recording this7500:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,080after a coaching session, and one of the clients,7600:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,200one of our clients talked about how, you know,7700:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,880she's on this project.7800:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,280It's a collaborative project, and she seems to be7900:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,200the one who's driving everything.8000:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,280And she was like, well, you know,8100:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,560all the rest of the collaborators are attendings,8200:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,440and I'm the only person who's a resident,8300:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,920and I really feel like, you know,8400:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,320I feel guilty when I don't have extra results,8500:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,720when things haven't moved forward8600:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,360like they're supposed to.8700:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,760And it turns out that she had a requirement8800:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,040for a project that she's completed.8900:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,720She's actually completed the project,9000:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,080but now she's going above and beyond.9100:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,360She's like, I'm done, but I wanna help9200:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,080to see this thing succeed.9300:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,240And it turns out it's a QI project,9400:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,480and there's a lab director who's part of this QI project,9500:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,720but she's on the project only to the extent9600:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,160to which it fulfilled a requirement for her.9700:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,160But so now she's on the project9800:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,800because she wants to get a good letter from the person9900:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,360who's gonna be a program director next year.10000:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,040And so when we really broke it down,10100:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,600it turns out that she was really trying10200:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,880to make this person happy because she was hoping10300:03:59,880 --> 00:04:04,040that if she continued working hard,10400:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,320then this person would like her more.10500:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,360But it wasn't actually to her benefit10600:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,440that she continued to make these kinds of investments10700:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,720because you know what, she had actually finished10800:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,840the project, she had finished her responsibility10900:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,560on the project, and now her continued working11000:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,880on the project was actually affecting other things11100:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,600that she was supposed to be doing.11200:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,240And so I tell her story just to share11300:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,360that this is a common challenge for us.11400:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,280We're going above and beyond in so many things,11500:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,800and in reality, not all things are prioritized equally,11600:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,840not all things are equally important.11700:04:34,840 --> 00:04:38,400So how do we separate going above and beyond11800:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,160in the right things versus going above and beyond11900:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,360in things that actually may not make sense?12000:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,400So I wanna talk to you about questions to ask yourself.12100:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,760Okay, questions to ask yourself.12200:04:48,760 --> 00:04:53,760So if you find yourself doing more than anyone else12300:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,280in any collaboration, I want you to ask yourself why.12400:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,960If you are the one who's doing all the work,12500:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,320and this is not an unusual scenario,12600:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,880found myself in this situation,12700:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,880and I'm guessing that you have too,12800:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,440but if you find yourself as the one12900:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,720who's doing all the work,13000:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,320and it feels like you're pulling more weight13100:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,360than everybody else, pause, stop.13200:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,440Say, hmm, how come this is the case?13300:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,160And it's really important for you to pause and ask13400:05:23,160 --> 00:05:28,120because it helps you figure out how to move forward next.13500:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,720Now you're pulling all this weight,13600:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,400but the work is not moving forward13700:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,920because the work really is work for five people.13800:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,440And if the five people are not carrying their weight,13900:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,280wow, you're gonna be carrying a lot of weight,14000:05:39,280 --> 00:05:42,320but you're also not gonna be making much progress.14100:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,720And so the opportunity to stop and ask why it seems14200:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,800as if you're the only one doing all the work is important14300:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,120because it helps you decide how best to move forward.14400:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,760Okay, so that brings me now to number two.14500:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,520You wanna review for yourself14600:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,880what are your obligations on this project.14700:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,240Okay, let's say you're the leader of the project,14800:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,280you're the PI on this project,14900:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,960and you know what, it's really important to you.15000:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,080And if you don't do the work, the work doesn't move forward15100:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,080and you're like, well, I'm gonna carry it all myself.15200:06:11,080 --> 00:06:11,920You should ask yourself15300:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,120are the other people needed on the project?15400:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,040Hopefully they're needed15500:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,480because you actually need them to do the work.15600:06:17,480 --> 00:06:21,200But if they're not, then maybe make it a solo project.15700:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,560Don't make it a collaborative project.15800:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,400But if it's a collaborative project15900:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,680and it needs to be collaborative,16000:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,760then you do need the engagement of the collaborators.16100:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,640And so they all need to buy in16200:06:35,640 --> 00:06:36,920or the work doesn't move forward.16300:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,720And if the collaborators say, well, we don't wanna buy in,16400:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,800it's important information,16500:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,320it's information that allows you to say,16600:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,240well, how do I wanna move forward?16700:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,000Do I wanna continue to work with collaborators16800:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,360who are actually not pulling any weight?16900:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,080Or do I want a new project, find new collaborators?17000:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,360And sometimes it actually is harder to continue,17100:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,920you're like, ah, I've already invested a lot,17200:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,480I'm just gonna keep going.17300:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,440It is hard to continue to drag people17400:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,960who don't wanna do the work, very, very hard.17500:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,640And in fact, sometimes they will derail you17600:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,240from the finish line.17700:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,440You have to decide, is it important enough17800:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,880to continue to drag these people along17900:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,880or do I cut my costs, cut my losses and move forward?18000:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,320So here is an opportunity for you to stop18100:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,560and assess what are my obligations here?18200:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,520Especially if you're not even the lead on the project,18300:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,000maybe you're not in the PI,18400:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,440but somehow you're working harder18500:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,360than everybody else on the project.18600:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,880Ask yourself, what are the things I'm required to do?18700:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,800You wanna understand your obligation to the project.18800:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,960What did I commit to doing from the beginning?18900:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,000I may be the one carrying everything now,19000:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,200but what was my commitment from the beginning19100:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,000and what was the commitment of the others19200:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,720in the collaboration?19300:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,360And that's important so you recognize19400:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,360how far have you gone beyond what you promised to go19500:07:54,360 --> 00:07:58,040and who else is responsible, co-responsible with you19600:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,600for moving the project forward, okay?19700:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,600The next thing I want you to do19800:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,320is to now list all your other priorities19900:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,920because sometimes these kinds of projects20000:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,640can feel overwhelming.20100:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,720And there's a sense that, wait a minute,20200:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,480what else should I be working on?20300:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,960What else should I be doing, right?20400:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,520So what you wanna do is you wanna list your priorities20500:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,080and you wanna ask, well, what else am I supposed to be doing?20600:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,720What are the other things I'm supposed to be doing?20700:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,840So in this particular case of the coaching client20800:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,440that I'm talking about,20900:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,320she actually had a major exam coming up21000:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,680and that was a priority.21100:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,400And what's interesting is while she was really focused21200:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,080on putting all the energy in this project21300:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,680that she was carrying further than the people21400:08:37,680 --> 00:08:38,840she was working with,21500:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,600she actually didn't have time to study for the exam.21600:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,960And here's the thing, if she didn't pass the exam,21700:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,320the people on the project would not be happy, right?21800:08:46,320 --> 00:08:47,720These are her attendings.21900:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,440So if you are so busy doing a project22000:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,280that you weren't even supposed to really be doing22100:08:52,280 --> 00:08:53,560and then you didn't study for the work22200:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,320that you were supposed to be doing,22300:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,400people are not gonna be happy with you.22400:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,120And so it was an important strategy22500:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,240for her to go through and list,22600:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,120well, what are the other things I really need to be focused on22700:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,960and where does this particular project rank22800:09:05,960 --> 00:09:10,280relative to the other work that I'm doing, right?22900:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,320And when she put them all in rank order,23000:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,280what she found out was that, wait a minute,23100:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,520this is like at the bottom.23200:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,200I've completed my obligation.23300:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,800Everything else I'm doing here23400:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,320is still number 17 on my list,23500:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,400maybe more like number eight,23600:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,880but it's not at the top of the list.23700:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,000And so all this extra work23800:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,760where she was going above and beyond23900:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,640was actually not serving her24000:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,000because in going above and beyond on a low priority project,24100:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,240she was not able to do even the bare minimum24200:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,640on a high priority project.24300:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,840So how important it is for you to actually be able24400:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,680to prioritize the work that you're doing24500:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,360so that you recognize where this particular project fits24600:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,640and whether you should even be giving this project24700:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,120the light of day.24800:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,720So we went from talking about, well,24900:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,240I wanna go above and beyond to, wait a minute,25000:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,840should I even be doing any more work on this project?25100:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,920And at the end of our coaching call,25200:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,840she came to understand that actually she needed25300:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,760to submit her quit notice.25400:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,800She needed to say, hey guys,25500:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,040it's been great working with you25600:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,360and I'm moving on to the other things.25700:10:13,360 --> 00:10:18,160But she was only able to discover that that was needed25800:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,600after she really took the time to prioritize25900:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,480her list of activities26000:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,160and put this particular project in context26100:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,320of all the other things that she was doing.26200:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,480Okay.26300:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,080The next thing is to ask yourself, well,26400:10:32,080 --> 00:10:37,080how does this project overlap with benefits that help me?26500:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,280And this is really important,26600:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,440especially for us when we're early career26700:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,960and we feel as if like we owe other people26800:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,880and we need to do things that benefit them26900:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,280even if it doesn't benefit us.27000:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,760In life and in academia,27100:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,760the best work you're gonna do benefits you27200:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,840and it benefits others as well.27300:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,120It's always a win-win that really moves you forward.27400:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,840If you're in a situation where all the benefit,27500:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,360all the investments coming from you,27600:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,600but all the benefit goes to someone else,27700:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,640it feels heavy, you're gonna resent the other people,27800:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,280especially at the end of all the work27900:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,440when they don't even recognize28000:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,000how much of an investment you've made.28100:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,880And so you owe it to yourself to start to ask the question,28200:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,320what isn't it for me?28300:11:18,320 --> 00:11:22,000How can I make sure that at the end of this experience,28400:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,640I actually get what I need?28500:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,360And it's not a selfish question.28600:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,320It allows you all to pull in the same direction.28700:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,560Because here's the thing,28800:11:29,560 --> 00:11:33,720if you have no benefit, but all the investment,28900:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,800you may not feel like really making an investment29000:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,680because you don't perceive that you're getting much benefit.29100:11:39,680 --> 00:11:40,800And so ask yourself,29200:11:40,800 --> 00:11:45,240how can I overlap the benefit here with benefit for me?29300:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,840I'm so glad that I'm doing this work29400:11:46,840 --> 00:11:51,120that allows this director of a certain lab program29500:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,440to get a QI project done that helps the lab29600:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,560then to meet its metrics or meet its requirements,29700:11:58,560 --> 00:12:02,320or at least allows them to test a particular new process.29800:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,640It's great that that work is able to do that,29900:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,360but does it help you advance?30000:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,680Does it help you write another publication?30100:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,880Does it help you gain visibility?30200:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,800If at the end of the day,30300:12:12,800 --> 00:12:17,240the only benefit is that somebody else is pleased,30400:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,200it's time to reconsider the project.30500:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,800I'm gonna say that again.30600:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,960If at the end of working on this project,30700:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,960the only benefit is that somebody else is pleased with you,30800:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,400then it is not worth even working on a project30900:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,120and definitely not worth going above and beyond.31000:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,040Now, here's the thing that came up in this conversation.31100:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,240It was like, yeah, but this person's gonna write me31200:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,760a letter of recommendation.31300:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,800It's like, well, who else can write you31400:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,000a letter of recommendation?31500:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,840Is this the only person31600:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,640who can write that letter of recommendation?31700:12:48,640 --> 00:12:52,640And well, how does this project,31800:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,240continue to work on this project31900:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,280beyond what you've done so far?32000:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,120How does it get you more32100:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,880of what she would already maybe write for you right now?32200:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,280And the more she had time to think about it,32300:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,040she recognized that, wait a minute,32400:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,280I've done a good amount of this project.32500:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,240I'm at the point where I've done a lot of great things.32600:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,440I don't actually need to do any more.32700:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,040And that's important32800:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,160because trying to make other people happy32900:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,000is actually a losing battle.33000:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,040We're not very good at making other people happy.33100:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,280So it's kind of, it's a project you should just drop.33200:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,880Like if you're doing anything in life33300:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,360to make anybody else happy,33400:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,520you should start to really seriously think about33500:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,360whether it's even working.33600:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,800It's like you're putting all this energy33700:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,920and you're not even getting the outcome that you want33800:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,880because you can't choose for other people.33900:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,800You cannot guarantee that they're gonna like you.34000:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,360All you can guarantee is that you do the work34100:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,560you're supposed to do.34200:13:42,560 --> 00:13:46,200In this situation, my client had actually done so much more34300:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,400than she really needed to do.34400:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,240She'd gone above and beyond already34500:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,120and going more above and beyond was really not necessary.34600:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,400Okay.34700:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,800The last thing I wanna ask you to do34800:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,400is to call out people pleasing.34900:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,800And I will tell you that there is no shame of judgment35000:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,200in being a people pleaser35100:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,640because in reality it's part of our training in medicine.35200:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,200You know, we struggled hard to impress people enough35300:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,160to get into medical school.35400:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,480And we were just begging to get in.35500:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,240We're like, I don't care where you take me.35600:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,400I just wanna get in.35700:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,000And then we get to residency35800:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,200and we have all these subjective evaluations.35900:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,960And it's like, hey, sometimes I feel like36000:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,520I'm just here to make you happy.36100:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,400And that's what we're training to do.36200:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,560And then we get to our fellowships and we're like, hey,36300:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,360I just want the attending to be happy.36400:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,880And so we practice a lot of people pleasing36500:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,280and it doesn't necessarily serve our careers.36600:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,680And maybe it works for us up until a certain point36700:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,440but the moment we become faculty,36800:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,200it becomes less and less effective.36900:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,200And so what I wanna invite you to do37000:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,440is to see the areas that you are going above and beyond37100:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,640just as a people pleasing strategy and call it out.37200:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,120Say, hmm, I'm just doing this to make someone happy.37300:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,280And that's important.37400:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,480So you recognize where you really should focus your energies37500:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,520and you don't invest more than is necessary37600:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,960because people are pleasing.37700:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,320It just doesn't get you very far.37800:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,360I mean, it may get you far with this person37900:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,600but what really ultimately happens38000:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,760is that the person you're pleasing38100:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,800doesn't even know how much you're putting into it.38200:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,600They don't really appreciate the work you're doing.38300:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,400And sometimes they turn around and they're like,38400:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,920yeah, your work sucks.38500:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,240And then it really hurts.38600:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,960Maybe you haven't experienced that, but I have.38700:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,240And it just, then you stop and you're like,38800:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,720why am I even bothering?38900:15:25,720 --> 00:15:26,640And it's a great question.39000:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,080Why are you bothering?39100:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,800Why is that your goal?39200:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,240And how does that serve humanity39300:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,320in the way you wanna serve humanity39400:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,360in your role as a clinician researcher?39500:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,440All right, so those are the five things39600:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,960I want you to think about when going above and beyond39700:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,880is feeling especially icky.39800:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,960And you're like, I'm not sure I really wanna be doing this39900:15:43,960 --> 00:15:47,000or it's feeling like a drag, it's feeling heavy.40000:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,800Ask yourself these questions.40100:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,040So the first question is why?40200:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,600Why am I doing the most work in this collaboration?40300:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,480The second thing is, well, what obligations40400:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,800do I have in this project?40500:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,160What do I absolutely need to do?40600:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,120And what are the things other people should be doing?40700:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,320Number three, list all your other priorities40800:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,240and rank this project relative to those other priorities.40900:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,800Number four, ask how much of this work41000:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,600actually overlaps with benefits for me41100:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,600as well as benefits for other people.41200:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,920And number five, call out people pleasing.41300:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,360If you recognize it, definitely call it out.41400:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,960So this week, I wanna invite you to think about a project41500:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,680that you may feel like it's dragging on you.41600:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,600Like, oh, every time you think about the project,41700:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,320you get bad feelings inside,41800:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,000you get an ugly knots in your stomach.41900:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,720Think about that project.42000:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,680And I want you to evaluate the investment42100:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,320relative to the benefit.42200:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,600And I wanna invite you to think about42300:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,880what could your experience be42400:16:41,880 --> 00:16:46,440if you invested your energy in moving work forward42500:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,520instead of trying to make people happy?42600:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,480What could the outcome be?42700:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,520I'm excited about you putting energy into work42800:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,240that actually really advances your career.42900:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,400And so I hope that you'll rethink going above and beyond43000:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,560in every aspect of your life and be strategic43100:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,560about where you go above and beyond.43200:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,960All right, it's been an absolute pleasure43300:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,120talking with you today.43400:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,800Thank you so much for listening.43500:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,600I look forward to talking with you again43600:17:13,600 --> 00:17:40,200on the next episode of the Clinician Researcher podcast.